in the woman, who is herself not responding as usual to him.
It is as if an unseen warm light has been turned off, making him
feel vaguely anxious and insecure—that something is wrong. And
matters get worse after he intrudes “for no good reason,” because
the usual response to interruptions of focus is irritation. So she is
likely to react with annoyance or anger, thus apparently substantiat-
ing his feelings of rejection. Every couple I have known
about—where the man really does support the woman’s academic
or career aspirations and where he is really loved by and important
to her—has found it helpful to recognize this friction-creating pattern.
As soon as he does not take personally her change from diffuse
awareness to focused consciousness, the pattern of his unwarranted
interruptions and her consequent anger and resentment shifts, and
the tension dissolves.
VULNERABILITY, VICTIMIZATION, AND
DIFFUSE AWARENESS
The vulnerable goddesses were victimized. Hera was humiliated
and abused by her husband, Zeus, who discounted her need for fi-
delity. Demeter’s bond to her daughter was ignored, as was her
suffering when Persephone was abducted and kept prisoner in the
underworld. Both Demeter and Persephone were raped. Like human
women in one-down, suffer-and-be-powerless situations, all three
vulnerable goddesses also showed psychiatric symptoms.
The women who resemble these goddesses inwardly and who
have diffuse awareness as a mode of consciousness are also suscept-
ible to victimization. In contrast, the goddesses associated with the
capacity to define boundaries and aim for goals (Artemis) or think
through problems and devise strategies (Athena) that require focused
consciousness are the virginal, invulnerable goddesses. The women
who are like them are less likely to be victims.
To avoid being victimized, a woman needs to look focused and
confident. She must walk briskly as if in a hurry to get some-
where—appearing aimless or absent-minded invites trouble. Al-
though a receptive and approachable woman helps make relation-
ships and homes warm, taking these same quali-
The Vulnerable Goddesses: Hera, Demeter, and Persephone