make love to someone who has almost totally destroyed me. I
have been publicly humiliated again and again.^3
In spite of her accomplishments and prestige, Harris was con-
vinced that she was worthless without Tarnover. She had steadfastly
maintained that the killing was accidental. Spoken as Hera, who
never held Zeus accountable for all his philanderings, this statement
could indeed be true, for Harris could not imagine living without
him.
CULTIVATING HERA
The need to be more like Hera comes as a realization to some
women early in midlife; by then they have had a series of relation-
ships, or they have been so focused on their careers that marriage
has not been a priority. Up to this point, they have heeded Aphrod-
ite’s inclination to move from one relationship to another, or
Persephone’s tendency to avoid commitments, or Artemis and
Athena’s focus on achieving goals. Or the goddesses have been at
cross purposes, and Hera’s urge to be a mate has been thwarted by
the choice of men a woman has made, a choice influenced by other
goddesses.
When bonding as a mate is not a strong instinct, it will need to be
consciously cultivated. This is usually possible only when a woman
sees the need to make a commitment and has the will to keep it, and
when the opportunity exists for her to do so. If she loves a man who
needs or requires her fidelity, she must make a choice between
monagamy or him. She must decide to curb the promiscuity of
Aphrodite, or the independence of Artemis and favor Hera. A con-
scious decision to be a Hera wife can strengthen a woman’s connec-
tion to the archetype.
If involvement with nonmarrying men prevents a woman from
becoming a wife, she needs to become disenchanted by the type of
men she has been attracted to and the treatment she has received
from them. She also needs to reassess her attitude toward men who
have traditional values, because she may have been prejudiced
against those very men who want to marry and have families. When
her image of a desirable man
Hera: Goddess of Marriage, Commitment Maker and Wife