constitutes status may differ, but the pattern is the same. She seeks
to be coupled with a high-status young man and yearns for the
emotional security she derives from the relationship. Once she is
half of an “in” couple, she arranges double dates and parties, looking
down on unpaired mortals from her Olympian Hera heights. This
same pattern holds through college and afterward.
Some Hera women do marry in high school or right after, in order
to “play house” as soon as possible. But most high school romances
break up, and the ending of this first serious relationship is usually
also the first serious emotional wound for a young Hera woman.
Hera looks at college as the time and place to find a mate. If she
is bright and capable, she often does well in college, only to disap-
point teachers who assumed that she took her ability seriously. For
a Hera woman, education is not important in itself. It may only be
part of her expected social background.
Since marriage is what she came to college for, her anxiety grows
with the passage of time if a husband does not materialize. As a
college student in the mid-1950s, I recall the “unpinned” Hera wo-
men who as juniors became increasingly anxious, and as unengaged
seniors had an air of desperation, thinking themselves doomed to
be old maids. Untactful questions from relatives who asked, “When
are you going to get married?” were inordinately painful, since an
unmarried Hera woman feels an inner emptiness and lack of
meaning that becomes magnified by the expectations of others who
also emphasize marriage.
WORK
For the Hera woman, work is a secondary aspect of life, just as
going to college is. Whatever her education, career, profession, or
title, when Hera is a strong force in a woman’s psyche, her work is
something she does, rather than an important part of who she is.
A Hera woman may be very good at what she does and may
achieve recognition and advancement. If she is not married, however,
none of this seems to count for much with her.
Goddesses in Everywoman