tent to do it—whatever ‘it’ was, he put me down. He mocked what
was important to me, and several times even destroyed something
I valued.” Now she wanted some acknowledgment from him for
her accomplishments—she had a professional degree and a career.
She also wanted to let him know how damaging his behavior had
been.
One day, she called her parents—who always were together. As
usual, they were on separate phone extensions (she can’t recall ever
talking to one without the other). She addressed her comments to
him, specifically saying that she had “something important” to tell
him and that she wanted him to listen without interrupting her. She
detailed past grievances without getting upset or angry. He surprised
her by doing what she asked—simply listening. However, her
mother reacted as if the daughter were being abusive: “You have
no right to talk to your father that way!” When the mother intervened
thus, she provided her daughter with an insight into the role her
mother had played all along.
The mother’s reaction was typical Hera. Her loyalty was with her
husband. How dare a child confront him! He is Zeus, the absolute
ruler. How dare a child make him feel bad! He is too vulnerable, as
was the shivering bird in need of Hera’s warmth and protection.
MIDDLE YEARS
Whether or not her middle years are fulfilling ones depends on
whether the Hera woman is married, and whom she married. These
are the best years for Hera women who are in stable marriages to
men who achieve a measure of success and position and appreciate
their wives. In contrast, an unmarried, divorced, or widowed Hera
woman is miserable.
In midlife, marriages often undergo stress, which a Hera woman
usually does not handle well. When her marriage is in trouble, a
Hera woman often makes the situation worse by her possessiveness
and jealousy. If for the first time in her married life she knows or
suspects the importance of another woman, a vindictiveness never
before seen may emerge in all its ugliness, further endangering the
marriage that is so important to her.
Hera: Goddess of Marriage, Commitment Maker and Wife