or Zeus who fulfills. After the ceremony, she may be deeply and ir-
rationally disappointed and may feel that he deceived her, as if he
had implicitly promised something that he didn’t deliver. In fact,
however, the culprit was not he, but the archetypal expectation of
Zeus Teleios that she projected onto him.
Many Hera women project an image of an idealized husband onto
a man and then become critical and angry when he does not live up
to expectations. Such a woman then may become “shrewish”
(Homer’s view of the goddess Hera) as she urges him to change.
Another type of woman might see the man more clearly in the first
place, might not expect that marriage would transform him, or might
be able to leave him.
CAUGHT BETWEEN ARCHETYPE AND CULTURE
Hera women can be propelled into marriage as well as be kept
trapped there, by archetypal and cultural forces acting together. The
archetype is supported by the feminine mystique or “fulfillment
through others” that Betty Friedan described. Both forces implicitly
promise the fairytale ending “And they lived happily ever after.”
Once she is married, a Hera woman (more than any other type of
woman) feels bonded—for better or worse. When it is “for worse,”
the Hera archetype, often with the support of the culture, opposes
her getting out of a bad marriage. Religious beliefs and family ex-
pectations can “conspire” to keep a woman bonded to an alcoholic
or to a wife beater.
OPPRESSED OR OPPRESSOR
It is clear, given the consequences of identifying with Hera, that
this archetype can oppress women. An unmarried Hera woman may
feel that she is incomplete and a failure, or she may be propelled
into a bad marriage. A married woman may be unable to leave a
bad marriage and may be negatively affected. She may turn into a
nagging, dissatisfied woman who feels embittered when her husband
fails to live up to Hera expectations. Or she may turn into a raging,
wounded, jealous wife if her husband is unfaithful or if she imagines
him to be.
Goddesses in Everywoman