mance, or, for that matter, any number of men she did not know
very well.
When a woman is under the influence of Hera, she is likely to
marry the first respectable man who asks her, or any eligible man
she goes out with, without stopping to consider what would be best
for her. She would do well to resist marriage until she knows a good
deal about her husband-to-be. What kind of character does he have?
How emotionally mature is he? How ready is he to settle down?
How important is fidelity to him? What does she really feel about
him as a person? How compatible are they? Answering these ques-
tions honestly is crucial to a Hera woman’s future happiness. Once
married, she will be dependent on the character of the man she
marries and on his capacity to love her. He will decide who she will
be—a fulfilled Hera or a rageful, disillusioned Hera.
EXPANDING BEYOND HERA
While a good marriage is the major source of meaning in a Hera
woman’s life, to limit herself to being a wife means that she may
limit her growth and her ability to adapt if death or divorce brings
this role to an end. She may unconsciously defer to her husband’s
choice of activities and friends, and may allow him to decide how
she will spend her life. However, she can also become aware of her
pattern and can realize that she has neglected other facets of herself,
which might enrich her own life as well as her marriage.
In a traditional marriage, the husband and wife are halves of a
whole; each fulfills a culturally determined role. This specialization
of tasks discourages wholeness within each person. Whatever the
culture considers “masculine” is not developed in the woman. A
Hera woman easily falls into this pattern. She might even take per-
verse pride in not knowing anything about cars or numbers, or in
not knowing how to deal with people in the business world—because
her husband does all these tasks for both of them. Thus, if allowed
to do so, Hera also restricts a woman’s competence. But a woman
can stop reacting and start reflecting about the pattern of her mar-
riage. She can see that she is cast in a role that at best
Goddesses in Everywoman