limits her, and at worst is destructive to her. This consciousness is
the first step that makes it possible for her to resist Hera and to grow
beyond this one pattern. A Hera woman must consciously and re-
peatedly align herself with other goddesses who allow her to grow
beyond the role of wife.
MARRIAGE AS A GROWTH EXPERIENCE
An insecure Hera woman is highly susceptible to jealousy. With
very little provocation, she suspects infidelity and feels slighted and
humiliated in public by her husband’s inattention. If her reactions
are not justified, she either alienates him with her accusations or
tries to make him more sensitive to the effect he has on her. And the
marriage either deteriorates, confirming her fears, or both husband
and wife grow closer together.
For example, her husband may learn to respond with compassion
to her need to know where he is, rather than with resentment and
withholding information. If he can respond thus, her trust will grow.
One such husband said, “Now I let her know when to expect me,
and if there is a hitch in the plans I telephone rather than leave her
at the mercy of the jealous demons that torment her imagination.”
The Hera woman must decide over and over again whom to
trust—that suspicious Hera within or her husband. To grow, she
must resist Hera and must give her husband credit for support and
fidelity.
TRANSFORMING RAGE AND PAIN INTO CREATIVE WORK: THE
HEPHAESTUS SOLUTION
When a Hera woman is in a bad marriage or must struggle to get
free of being vindictive, victimized Hera herself, one possible solution
is suggested by the myth of Hera’s son Hephaestus, God of the Forge.
He symbolizes a potential inner strength, which the goddess herself
rejected but which is still available to Hera women. (Hera favored
her other son, Ares, God of War. “Like mother, like son”—Ares’s
uncontrolled fury on the battlefield mirrored Hera’s out-of-control
vindictiveness.)
Hera: Goddess of Marriage, Commitment Maker and Wife