is most famous for being the mother of the first-generation
Olympians.
As goddess of Grain, Demeter continues the lineage of female
goddesses concerned with fertility. She shares other similarities with
her mother and grandmother as well. For example, all three suffered
when their husbands hurt their children. Gaea’s husband buried her
children in her body when they were born. Rhea’s husband swal-
lowed her newborn children. And Demeter’s husband allowed their
daughter to be abducted into the underworld. All three biological
fathers displayed a lack of paternal feelings.
For three generations, these mother goddesses suffered. Less
powerful than their husbands, they were unable to stop their hus-
bands from harming their children. However, they refused to accept
the abuse, and they persisted until their children were freed. Unlike
Hera, whose primary bond was the wife-husband relationship, the
strongest bond of these Earth-Mother goddesses was mother-child.
Real life parallels the Demeter myth when maternal women are
married to unpaternal men. In this situation, a Demeter daughter
grows up closely identified with her mother and unconnected to
her father. The father’s attitude toward his children may range from
disinterest to competitiveness and resentment or even abusive-
ness—if he sees them as successful rivals for the affection of his wife.
In such a household, a young Demeter’s self-esteem suffers, and she
develops a victim attitude. Or, a Demeter daughter’s maternal
qualities may result in her reversing roles with immature or incom-
petent parents. As soon as she’s old enough, she may look after her
parents or become a surrogate parent for younger siblings.
In contrast, if a young Demeter has a father who is affectionate
and approving of her, she will grow up feeling his support for her
wish to be a good parent herself. She will view men positively and
will have positive expectations of a husband. An archetypal suscept-
ibility to become victimized will not be enhanced by her childhood
experience.
ADOLESCENCE AND EARLY ADULTHOOD
At puberty, a baby of her own becomes a biological possibility as
the archetypal maternal drive gets a boost from hor-
Goddesses in Everywoman