Some Demeter women become key figures in organizations, which
receive their maternal energy. Typically, the Demeter woman in
such a situation is personally impressive. She may have envisioned
and founded the organization, thrown her considerable energy into
it, and been personally responsible for its early success.
Demeter women in leadership and founding mother positions
may seek counseling for several reasons: The organization can take
so much effort that it leaves her virtually no time or energy for
anything else. Personal yearnings for a mate (if Hera is also present)
and for a child of her own go unmet. Conflicts arise within her and
between her and those she supervises because she is a person with
authority who sees herself and is seen by others as a nurturing figure.
It is difficult for her to fire or confront an incompetent employee,
for example, because she feels sorry for the person and guilty for
causing pain. Moreover, employees expect her to look after them
personally (an expectation they usually do not have of male super-
visors) and are resentful and angry whenever she doesn’t.
RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN
Demeter women are not competitive with other women for either
men or achievements. Any envy or jealousy of other women will
concern children. A Demeter woman without children compares
herself unfavorably to women her age who are mothers. If she is
infertile, she may feel bitter at the ease with which others get preg-
nant—especially if they have abortions. Later in life, if her grown
children live far away or are emotionally distant, she will envy the
mother who has frequent contact with her children. At that stage of
life, envy may resurface after twenty-five years, this time over
grandchildren.
Demeter women have mixed feelings about feminism and the
women’s movement. Many Demeter women resent feminists for
devaluing the role of motherhood; they want to be full-time mothers
and now feel pressured to work outside the home. On the other
hand, Demeter women strongly support many women’s issues; for
example, protecting children against abuse, and providing shelters
for battered women.
Goddesses in Everywoman