Goddesses in Everywoman

(avery) #1

herself who contributes or detracts from her own self-esteem. This
pattern can result in a relationship in which mother’s and daughter’s
psyches overlap. The mother chooses her child’s parties, dancing or
piano lessons, even friends, as if she were mothering herself. She
provides for her daughter what she herself wanted or missed when
she was a child, without considering that the daughter might have
different needs.
A Persephone daughter doesn’t do much to contradict the impres-
sion that she wants the same things for herself that her mother wants
for her. By nature, she is receptive and compliant and wants to
please. (In contrast, little Artemis and Athena at age two distinctly
say “No!” to the dress they don’t want to wear, or “No!” at efforts
to divert them from something they are intent on doing.)
A career-minded Athena mother with a Persephone daughter may
wonder, “How did I get such a little princess?” She may take pleasure
in being this child’s mother one moment, and be frustrated at her
daughter’s apparent indecisiveness and inability to say what’s on
her mind, the next. An Artemis mother’s frustration is different.
She’s much better at accepting her daughter’s subjective feelings;
her irritation is directed toward her daughter’s lack of will. She ex-
horts her daughter to “Stand up for yourself!” Both Artemis and
Athena mothers may help their Persephone daughters to develop
these qualities that they value, or they will instill a sense of inad-
equacy.
Many young Persephones do not have close relationships with
their fathers. The father may have been discouraged by the possess-
iveness of a Demeter mother who wanted a very exclusive relation-
ship with her daughter. Or if he was a traditional husband who
prided himself on never changing a diaper, he may have chosen to
remain uninvolved, as do certain men who leave a daughter to be
raised by her mother, yet take an active interest in a son.
Ideally, a young Persephone would have parents who respected
her inward way of knowing what was important to her, and trusted
her conclusions. They would provide her with a variety of experi-
ences, but not push her into them. These are parents who have
learned to value the introversion in themselves.


Persephone: The Maiden and Queen of the Underworld, Receptive

Free download pdf