“tough men” drawn to her innocence and fragility; and men who
are uncomfortable with “grownup” women.
The label “young love” fits the first category. In these high school
and college relationships, the young man and woman are exploring,
as equals, being with the opposite sex.
The second category pairs Persephone—the archetypal “nice girl
from a good family”—with a tough, streetwise man. He is fascinated
by this protected and privileged girl who is so much his opposite.
She, in turn, is captivated by his personal magnetism, sexual aura,
and dominating personality.
The third stereotypical category involves men who for various
reasons are uncomfortable with “grownup women.” The May-
December relationship between an older man and a much younger
woman, for example, is an exaggeration of this archetypal patriachal
model. The man is supposed to be older, more experienced, taller,
stronger, and smarter than his spouse. The woman is supposed to
be younger, less experienced, smaller, weaker, less educated, and
less intelligent. The type who most closely fits this ideal is a young
Persephone. Moreover, Persephone is quite unlike the image many
men have of “mother”—as a powerful or difficult to please wo-
man—which is another reason why some men like younger girls.
With a Persephone, a man feels he can be perceived as a powerful,
dominant man and not have his authority or ideas challenged. He
also feels that he can be innocent, inexperienced, or incompetent
and not be criticized.
A relationship with a man can be the means through which a
Persephone woman separates from a dominating mother. She then
goes through a stage of being Persephone “the pawn,” in which she
is the object to be possessed in a power struggle between a man and
her mother. She falls in love with a man her mother doesn’t like,
someone different from “the nice young man” her mother had in
mind. Sometimes, Persephone chooses a man of a different social
class or even a different race. The mother may object to his person-
ality: “He’s standoffish and rude!” or “He’s disagreeable...always
has to take the other point of view!” He may be the first person who
hasn’t treated the daughter like a pampered princess, and won’t put
up with it when she acts the part. Her mother is appalled. Confident
that she can influence her usu-
Goddesses in Everywoman