community offers suits her lifelong unconventionality.
Lesbian women sometimes discover Aphrodite in themselves
through a relationship with another woman, as suggested by Ruth
Falk in her book, Women Loving.^2 She described looking at the beauty
in another woman, and feeling beautiful herself; touching another
woman and feeling as if she had been touched herself. In her view,
each woman “mirrored” the other, allowing each to find her own
feminine sensuality.
CHILDREN
Aphrodite women like children, and vice versa. A child senses
that this woman looks at him or her with a nonjudgmental and ap-
preciative eye. She draws out a child’s feelings or abilities in such a
way that the child feels beautiful and accepted. Often she instills a
sense of specialness that may give the child confidence and help
develop abilities and talents. She can get into the spirit of play and
make-believe very easily. She seems to charm children into behaving
well, and to inspire them with her infectious enthusiasm for whatever
interests her. These are wonderful qualities in a mother. The children
of Aphrodite women thrive and develop their individuality if De-
meter qualities are also present.
An Aphrodite mother can captivate her children, who see her as
beautiful and glamorous, but if (lacking Demeter) she doesn’t con-
sider their need for emotional security and constancy, she’ll be in-
consistent, which has negative consequences on them. Her children
then revel in receiving her total attention one moment, and are des-
olated when her attention goes elsewhere the next moment. One of
my patients had an Aphrodite mother who would leave her for long
periods of time with a housekeeper. She described the homecomings
that were so special: “Mother would swoop into the house, her arms
outstretched to greet me. I felt as if I were the most important person
in the world.” Her mother brought “sunshine with her”; it was as
if a goddess had returned. It didn’t matter that she had resented her
mother’s absence and had even greeted news of her return with
sullenness; all was forgiven as soon as she basked in her mother’s
charismatic Aphrodite glow. She grew up uncertain about her
Goddesses in Everywoman