be in conflict with each other. Within each woman, activated arche-
types often vie for supremacy, or compete for dominance.
Given the original myth, what does it mean to choose “the
fairest”—with Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite vying for preeminence
over the other two? Looking at what these three goddesses symbol-
ize, I was struck by the realization that they can represent the three
major directions that a woman’s life can take—aspects within a
woman that often are in conflict. Hera puts marriage first; so would
the woman who identifies with Hera’s goals. Athena values the use
of intellect to achieve mastery, a woman who honors her as the fairest
would consider her career primary. Aphrodite favors beauty, love
and passion, and creativity as the ultimate values, and the woman
who agrees will place the vitality of her subjective life above endur-
ing relationships and achievements.
These choices are fundamentally different, because each of these
three goddesses is in a different category. Hera is a vulnerable god-
dess, Athena a virgin goddess, and Aphrodite is the alchemical
goddess. In the lives of women, one of the three styles represented
by these categories usually predominates.
WHO IS TO JUDGE? WHO DECIDES WHICH
GODDESS GETS THE GOLDEN APPLE?
In the myth, a mortal man made the decision. In patriarchal cul-
tures, mortal men do: And, of course, if men decide what women’s
place should be, then the choice is limited to what suits men. For
example, the 3 K’s—Kinder, Küche, Kirche (children, kitchen, and
church)—once defined the boundaries of most German women’s
lives.
On a personal level, the question “Which goddess gets the golden
apple?” describes an ongoing competition. Beginning with her par-
ents and relatives, extending to teachers and classmates, friends,
dates, husbands, and even children—the Judgment of Paris goes on
and on, with everyone handing out or withholding “golden apples,”
rewarding her with approval for what pleases them. For example,
the little girl who has a
Which Goddess Gets the Golden Apple?