quiet, solitary aspect to her personality (thanks to Hestia), as well
as being a competitive tennis player (which may be either Artemis
or Athena’s influence), and whose motherly (Demeter) qualities
come out with her little cousins will find that she gets approval more
for some things than others. Does her father praise her for playing
a good game of tennis or for being a good little mother? What does
her mother value? Is this an introverted family, that expects its
members to spend quiet time on their own? Or is this an extraverted
family that thinks anyone who wants to be alone is peculiar? Is a
girl supposed to hold back, not show what a good backhand she
has, and always let a man beat her? Given the expectations of others,
what does she do?
If a woman lets others decide what is important to her, then she
will live out her parents’ expectations and will conform to her social
class assumptions of what she should do. In her life, which goddess
will be honored will be determined by others.
If a woman decides for herself “which goddess gets the golden
apple,” basing that decision on the strength of the goddess in her,
then whatever she decides will be meaningful to her. It may or may
not be supported by her family and culture, but it will feel authentic.
GODDESSES IN CONFLICT:
THE COMMITTEE AS METAPHOR
Within a woman, the goddesses may vie among themselves, or
one may rule. Each time the woman must make a major decision,
there may be a contest among the goddesses for the golden apple.
If so, does the woman decide among competing priorities, instincts,
and patterns? Or is the course she takes determined for her—by the
goddess?
Joseph Wheelwright, a Jungian analyst and a mentor of mine, says
that what goes on in our heads can be thought of as being like a
committee, with various aspects of our personalities sitting around
the table—male as well as female, young and old, some noisy and
demanding, others quiet and cut off. If we are fortunate, a healthy
ego sits at the head of the table,
Goddesses in Everywoman