wants a child and the other does not? What should she do now that
she is in her thirties and motherhood is a time-limited possibility?
All these questions plagued the artist Georgia O’Keeffe, who
never had a child. From Laura Lisle’s biography, we know that
O’Keeffe had since childhood felt an inner drive to be an artist. We
know, too, that when she was in her mid-twenties she confided to
a friend, “I’ve just got to have a baby—if I don’t, my life just won’t
be complete.”^1 When “the baby question” was a major issue, she
was also deeply in love with Alfred Stieglitz, whom she first lived
with and then married. He was one of the most influential forces in
modern art. His gallery and his opinion of art and artists made artists’
reputations. Stieglitz was convinced that O’Keeffe should not become
a mother because it would divert her from painting. Thirty years
older than O’Keeffe, and already a father with grown children,
Stieglitz also did not want to become a father again.
The conflict within her and with him over the baby question,
which began in 1918, went on for five years, apparently resolved
only after two events tipped the scales. In 1923, a hundred of her
paintings were exhibited. For perhaps the first time, she had outer
confirmation that fulfilling the dream of being a successful artist
was possible. That same year, Stieglitz’s daughter gave birth to a
son and then went into a severe postpartum depression, from which
she was never to fully recover.
Concern for Stieglitz, for their relationship, and for her career as
an artist aligned many parts of O’Keeffe against a strong maternal
instinct. Hera, Aphrodite, Artemis, and Athena all sided against
Demeter.
Although this alignment of the goddesses plus circumstance
weighed the decision against having a child, O’Keeffe needed to let
go of the possibility of being a mother without feeling resentful;
otherwise this issue (or any issue) isn’t fully resolved. When a person
feels that she didn’t have a choice and was forced to give up some-
thing important by outer circumstance, or inner compulsion, she
feels angry, impotent, and depressed. Resentment saps her vitality
and prevents her from concentrating fully on whatever she is doing,
however
Which Goddess Gets the Golden Apple?