Goddesses in Everywoman

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meaningful the task may be. For O’Keeffe (or any woman) to be able
to experience the loss of something important, and then plunge into
creative work—her ego had to be more than a passive observer that
tallies up the voting strength of archetypes. She had to actively en-
dorse the outcome. To do this, a woman must be able to say, “I see
who I am and what the circumstances are. I affirm these qualities
as me, I accept reality as it is.” Only then can the energy bound up
in an issue be freed for other use.


SEE-SAW AMBIVALENCE: THE EGO IS INEFFECTUAL, AS
COMPETING GODDESSES STRUGGLE FOR DOMINATION
While an orderly process is the best resolution, it is unfortunately
not the only way in which internal conflict may be handled. If the
ego passively goes along with whichever side is temporarily in
power, then a see-saw pattern results, as first one side “wins” and
gets its way, and then the other.
For example, a married woman may be strongly indecisive about
ending an affair (knowing if she does not end the affair, that it will
end her marriage). The conflict within her may feel as unresolvable
and unending as the Trojan War once seemed. A woman with an
ineffectual ego repeatedly ends the affair, only to be drawn back
into it again and again.
The Trojan War is an apt metaphor for this situation. Helen, the
fought-over prize, was like a passive ego in the midst of a marriage-
or-affair conflict. A passive ego is held hostage, a possession of first
one side and then the other.
The Greek forces were intent on returning Helen to her husband.
On their side were the upholders of marriage. Foremost of them was
Hera, Goddess of Marriage, who insisted that the struggle continue
until Troy was destroyed and Helen returned to her husband, Me-
nelaus. Also aiding the Greeks was Hephaestus, God of the Forge,
who made armor for Achilles. Hephaestus’s sympathy for the Greek
position is understandable, since he was Aphrodite’s cuckold hus-
band. Another Greek ally was Poseidon, the patriarchal god who
lived under the sea. And Athena, upholder of the rights of the patri-
archy, naturally sided with the lawful husband.
These Olympians represent attitudes within a woman


Goddesses in Everywoman
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