that would act on her to preserve the marriage. They saw marriage
as a sacred vow and as a lawful institution, believed that a wife is
the possession of the husband, and felt sympathy for the husband.
Aphrodite, Goddess of Love and winner of the golden apple, was,
of course, on the side of Troy. Interestingly, so were Artemis and
Apollo, the androgynous twins—who may symbolize nonstereotyped
roles for men and women, allowable only when the power of the
patriarchy is challenged. The fourth Olympian on the side of Troy
was Ares, God of War, who (like Paris) made love to the wife of
another man. Ares was Aphrodite’s lover.
These four Olympians speak for elements or attitudes in a wo-
man’s psyche that are often drawn together in an affair. They speak
for sexual passion and love. They speak for autonomy—an insistence
that her sexuality belongs to her and is not a possession of either the
marriage or her husband. These four rebel against traditional roles,
and are impulsive. Thus they join forces in an affair that can be seen
as a declaration of war against her husband.
If a woman’s ego passively goes along with the current winner of
the inner conflict and the outer competition for her, she will see-saw
back and forth between the two men in the triangle. This ambivalence
damages both relationships, and all concerned.
COMMITTEE CHAOS: THE EGO BECOMES OVERWHELMED
BY THE CONFLICTING GODDESSES
When fierce conflicts arise in a woman’s psyche and the ego cannot
maintain order, then an orderly process cannot even begin. Many
voices are raised, and a cacophony of internal noise results—as if
the goddesses were screaming their concerns, each trying to drown
out the others. The woman’s ego cannot sort out what the voices in
her are saying, while a great pressure builds up inside. The woman
in whom such chaos is going on feels confused and pressured to do
something, at a time when she cannot keep her thoughts straight.
I once had a patient in her mid-forties in whom this “committee
chaos” was precipitated as she was about to leave
Which Goddess Gets the Golden Apple?