with a partner, she may feel that an essential element of relationship
is missing.
The Artemis-Apollo relationship may result in an asexual, com-
panionable marriage, in which the partners are each other’s best
friends. Some Artemis women even marry gay men, for instance,
and value the companionship and the independence each partner
in such a relationship allows the other. An Artemis woman may
stay best friends with an ex-husband who left their brother-sister
marriage when he fell in love with another woman of a different
type.
For an Artemis woman to have a deep and important sexual ele-
ment in her marriage, another goddess—Aphrodite—must have an
influence. And for that marriage to be a monogamous, committed
relationship, Hera must also be present in the woman. Without these
other two goddesses, an Artemis-Apollo relationship easily becomes
a brother-sister one.
Besides the pattern of relationships between equals, the second
common relationship pattern for Artemis women is involvement
with men who nurture them. Such a man is the person she “comes
home to.” He teaches her to be considerate and sensitive to feelings.
And he is often the one who wants them to have a child.
Less compatible or complementary relationships entered into by
Artemis women often recapitulate early father-daughter conflicts.
Such a husband does not support her aspirations, and undermines
and criticizes her. As with her father, she is defiant and continues
with her career. Yet her self-esteem is affected, or else her spirit is
beaten down and she finally conforms to his idea of how she should
be.
Or, paralleling the myth of Artemis and Orion, an Artemis woman
may fall in love with a strong man and may then be unable to keep
a competitive element out of the relationship, which kills it. If he
achieves some recognition and (rather than be glad for him) she re-
sents his success and finds a way to tarnish it, this competitiveness
will erode the love he has for her. Or it may be the man’s competit-
iveness that kills off her love. For example, he may react to her
achievements as winning or surpassing him. If both are unable to
stop competing,
Goddesses in Everywoman