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EDUCATION
Why college rejections
aren’t always bad news
BY S. MITRA KALITA
you stand for is asked at life’s every
turn: to get into classes, clubs, grad
school, jobs, the boardroom.
Where to find that purpose? A gap
year could help here. Research has
shown that gap-year students get in
less trouble, are more likely to graduate
on time, and have higher GPAs, which
in turn can lead to stronger job oppor-
tunities, Lieber writes.Jeffrey Selingo writeS in his book
Who Gets In and Why that graduates
of so-called elite schools vs. state uni-
versities are barely distinguishable.
“For 40 years, top-ranked institutions
have sold us on these distinctions, tell-
ing prospective students and their
families that the brand name on the
degree is what matters most when it
comes to success after college... For
economists, it’s a much more nuanced
answer than before:
majors and skills might
count for more in the
job market than the
college itself.”
Employers are also
rethinking elite insti-
tutions. For ages, the
best internships went
to students and gradu-
ates of top 20 colleges.
That’s changing as di-
versity, equity, and in-
clusion efforts extend
to the source of recruit-
ment, looking beyond
the Ivy League.
Parents should also
look beyond admissions. What if we
focused less on admissions and instead
on how to make high school as fulfill-
ing as possible, or considered alterna-
tive options for the road ahead? “If we
teach our young people that they are
no ‘less’ because of a rejection—and
no ‘more’ because of an admission,”
says Becky Munsterer Sabky, author
of Valedictorians at the Gate, “it can re-
mind them what matters most is not
the name on their college sweatshirt,
but who is wearing it.”Kalita is a co-founder and CEO of URL
Media, publisher of Epicenter-NYC,
and columnist for Charter, in partnership
with TIMEIn the sprIng of 1994, I crIed over beIng denIed
admission at Northwestern and Columbia—and three other
elite universities. A close friend failed to console me by say-
ing, “Rejection builds character.” But she was right. Nearly
three decades later, I trace so much of who I am, and the
career I’ve built, to that awful week.
Rutgers, where I ended up, was huge, and there was a
need to prove myself, quickly define what I stood for, and
distinguish myself from the crowd. I now realize the string
of rejections left a bit of a chip on my shoulder and forced me
to compensate for a lack of pedigree. This (constant) hustle
proved invaluable in both traditional career ascension and
my more recent entrepreneurial endeavors.
Over the past few weeks, millions of high school students
learned their own college admission fates. Today, it’s harder
than ever to get into a selective college or
university. The trend line, ironically, comes
as enrollment at U.S. colleges is plummet-
ing. Meanwhile, employers like IBM, facing
labor shortages, dangle six-figure offers and
training programs to high school graduates.
Here’s what college- admission experts ad-
vise when things don’t quite work out:
Don’t take rejection personally. Most ex-
perts agree that record application numbers
(hastened by test-optional policies) mean
there’s no way for overwhelmed admissions
offices to take the time applications deserve.
“Yours maybe got eight minutes of their time
and two minutes in a committee room, if they
discussed you at all,” says Ron Lieber, author
of The Price You Pay for College.
Anecdotally, experts say there is a high
number of students on wait lists this year. The waiting game
is tough. But look at it another way: the graduating classes
of high school and college have experienced unprecedented
uncertainty in their young lives. The resulting resilience
is a major asset for employers.
Not all decisions are in your hands, but one thing in your
control is your character. The first question Hafeez Lakhani,
founder and president of Lakhani Coaching, a college-
admission prep and consulting firm, asks clients is “How are
you doing in cultivating a fulfilling high school career?”
There’s often confusion. Fulfilling to whom? Admissions
officers? Parents? “Then you see their eyes open up because
they realize you must be fulfilling to you first. Then others
will notice,” Lakhani says.
That’s not to say that those rejected from their dream
schools had no character. But for both those who got in and
those who didn’t, it’s wise to spend some time figuring out
your “character story,” Lakhani says. The question of what
The
question
of what
you stand
for is asked
at life’s
every turn