Grief and Loss Across the Lifespan, Second Edition

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FOUR

Elementary School–Aged Children

Kelsey was pouting, yet her mother was beaming as she told Kelsey’s teacher about

the new home they were buying. She was happy they would be able to stay within the

school district and that Kelsey, in her mother’s words, would have “no real change.”

Kelsey, a second grader, felt very differently. Her baby sister was SO annoying, and

that is why they fought each night in their shared bedroom. Her mother wanted the

bigger house so they would each have their own room, but Kelsey wanted to stay

exactly where she was. Her best friend lived next door. All the kids on her side of the

block played together on the back lawns between the houses most afternoons before

dinner. She had visited the new neighborhood and as far as she could tell, there were

no kids her age, and anyway, she did not like how big and empty the new house felt.

They got back in the car to drive home from school and her mother said, “Won’t

you feel happy to be in the new house soon?” Kelsey replied, “No, I hate it!” After

some tense exchanges, Kelsey’s mom quit trying to convince her. She knew that Kelsey

would need to see for herself that there would be good things about the new house, but

she also realized that, unlike an adult, Kelsey would experience the 10-block move as

a loss of her friends, her neighborhood, her cozy home, and her security.

OBJECTIVES

After reading this chapter the reader will be able to:

■ Describe the cognitive, psychological, and biological development of chil-

dren from age 5 and entry into school to about age 11.

■ Explain the impact of schools’ practices on regular child development as

well as their vital role in promoting health among bereaved children.

■ Understand the way dual process and continuing bonds may be differently

expressed by elementary school-aged children.

DEVELOPMENTAL STAGE: INITIATIVE VERSUS GUILT AND INDUSTRY
VERSUS INFERIORITY

Children usually enter the school environment at about age 5 when they start

attending kindergarten. Until recently, kindergarten allowed a transition from

the home environment to an academic setting, but now kindergartens focus

on explicit skill and knowledge acquisition. For some children, this is a first