116 Grief and Loss Across the Lifespan
who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer can be distressing and
isolating at a developmental phase when they need support for identity con-
solidation (LaSala, 2014). Other losses occur frequently (e.g., loss of a love rela-
tionship, death of a pet, loss of an occupational dream, or other goals). These
are addressed in more detail in the following.
Losses Experienced by the Adolescent
Death Losses
Grace Christ and her colleagues have devoted their careers to exploring the
impact of loss on children and adolescents. In a review article (2002), they assert
that early adolescents or tweens are “characterized by ambivalent expressions
of dependence and independence and sometimes by angry and perplexing
expressions of selfish egocentrism” (Christ, Siegel, & Christ, 2002, p. 1271).
By mid-adolescence, which Christ et al. define as 15 to 17 years old, individu-
als have developed a more accurate ability to assess situational demands and
develop more empathic abilities. They have greater abilities to understand the
nature of death, though they tend to maintain earlier developmental charac-
teristics of asynchronous expressions of grief (cycling in and out in a dual-
process that only gradually becomes more consistent with adult tendencies
to maintain longer periods of sadness and anhedonia). Christ (2000) recom-
mends that tweens and teens be told about the nature of a parent’s illness even
when that disclosure seems to promote anger and withdrawal.
More recently, Balk (2011) reviewed reactions to loss in similar age ranges
and contends that early adolescents (10–14) tend to be more frightened and
overwhelmed by loss whereas middle adolescents (15–17) tend toward anger
and attempts to camouflage their grief. He asserts that older adolescents
(18–22) tend to feel either accepted and loved, or rejected, with a strong focus
on relationships during their mourning. Balk draws on Fleming and Adolph’s
theories (1986) that bereaved adolescents must resolve five core issues: pre-
dictability of events, mastery/control, belonging, fairness/social justice, and
self-image. Each of these core issues has cognitive, behavioral, and affective
tasks associated with it. For adolescents, the loss of a secure base (due to death
of a family member) at the very point that teens would normally be pushing
away from family likely contributes to the challenges associated with identity
formation, the establishment of a value-set, and a sense of “fit” in the world.
When adolescents experience the death of a loved one, their use of sup-
port is often limited to friends and family members who have experienced
the same loss. The bereaved family members or friends may want to talk or
process their own grief in ways that teens find hinder their own grieving
(Rask, Kaunonen, & Paunon-Ilomonen, 2002). This finding, from a study of
14- to 16-year-olds in Finland, is corroborated by hospice workers in the United
States who report similar experiences in their clinical caseloads: emotional
ventilation by others inhibits the teens’ own grief-processing and meaning-
making (personal communication in supervision with JLM McCoyd).
Among other reasons, teens may inhibit their emotional expression
due to others’ seeming need for support, or because they want to present as
