118 Grief and Loss Across the Lifespan
funeral and other family arrangements after death. Studies suggest that some
adolescents elect to distract themselves outside the home whereas others feel
that involvement with the arrangements cements their sense of belonging in
the family. Cinzia et al. (2014) also report findings that indicate growth and
a sense of enhanced maturity among some bereaved adolescents. In short,
Cinzia et al.’s review finds that while there are many variations in adolescent
responses to parental death, there seems to be a common tendency to avoid
overt discussions of the death and its impact with peers/friends, the precise
people of most interest to adolescents. They suggest “the creation of special
moments of encounter and dialogue between parents, adolescents, and health
professionals: the teenagers can thus take advantage of the opportunity to
express their feelings and to revisit certain situations by talking directly with
parents and experts” (Cinzia et al., 2014, p. 373). They also note that helping
adolescents return to their routines is a key to helping them cope well and that
creative memory building is helpful.
Manor, Vincent, and Tyano (2004) assert that adolescents typically use
their newfound abstract thinking abilities to consider their beliefs about death
and may even “wish to die,” wishes Manor et al. distinguish from a desire to
commit suicide. They note that adolescents are old enough to understand that
they will die eventually and that this starts a process predicated on thoughts
about death. They posit a series of adolescent phases in response to awareness
of death. Teens experience a phase of chaos after the death that leads to narcis-
sistic depression and then to renewed cathexis of the object (the self) as part
of customary developmental processes, resolved, with some degree of pain, in
a decision to live. Adolescents who become suicidal in thought or action may
or may not actually wish to die, but the impulse may result in death by mis-
adventure (Manor et al., 2004). It is thus important to assure that teens have
someone with whom to process these feelings so as to recognize that they are
temporary and understandable.
Conversely, some bereaved adolescents are spurred by parental death
to consider existential questions and grow from that reflection (Brewer &
Sparkes, 2011). The intensity of adolescence makes it a prime developmental
phase for such growth. Cait’s study of young women who lost a parent during
adolescence bears this out. The women she interviewed reflected on religious
and spiritual beliefs, with some embracing their faith and others rejecting or
revising it (Cait, 2004). Interestingly, nearly all used spiritual beliefs to retain
connections to their deceased parent. Many struggled with how to believe in a
loving supreme being that allowed the parent to die (Cait, 2004). Adolescence
is a time of figuring out who one is and what one believes: although obviously
mourning after the death of a parent, adolescents’ reflections on existential
questions may allow them to grow and mature as a result (Dehlin & Reg, 2009).Death of a Sibling
Sibling bereavement provokes similar spiritual struggles (Batten & Oltjenbruns,
1999). Although the four teens interviewed in Batten and Oltjenbruns’ small
study expressed different changes in perspective, none remained unchanged
by the death of their sibling. This is consistent with earlier work that found
grief, personal growth, and ongoing attachment in adolescents who experi-
enced the death of a sibling (Hogan & DeSantis, 1996). Adolescents had an