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EIGHT
Middle Adulthood
Barbara, 53 years old and an only child, had always shared a close relationship with
her 78-year-old father, Robert. Robert had been a research chemist for most of his adult
career and retired at 70. He announced his lung cancer diagnosis at a small family din-
ner. Barbara broke down and cried. Later, they talked and he shared some of his fondest
memories of being with her. They cried together as he shared the news that his progno-
sis was poor. Barbara took Robert to most of his radiation treatments because she loved
spending time with him and knew her mother could not navigate city traffic. About
5 months later, Barbara began to feel preoccupied and unable to focus on the smallest
task. She had vivid memories of her early tumultuous marriage and divorce. She also
began thinking about her own mortality and became frightened that she, too, might
develop cancer. Barbara felt unsupported by her husband or children; she felt alone,
depressed, and overwhelmed. A friend suggested that she see a therapist.
Barbara found a clinical social worker who seemed to understand her fears
and worries. Two months later, Robert’s oncologist asked to speak with her father,
mother, and herself, and explained that it was time to consider hospice care because
Robert was not responding to treatment and was physically fragile. Within 8 weeks
of this meeting, Robert died with his family surrounding him. Barbara was grateful
for the quality time she had shared with her dad over the years and recognized that
her new role as caregiver for her mother was going to take a lot of emotional energy.
Her social worker recognized the stress that losing a parent places on a marriage, and
recommended that Barbara and her husband see a marital therapist during this time
of adjustment.
Barbara continued to see her own therapist and began to work on ways to feel
the presence of her dad through memories and photos. She limited her time with her
mother to a few visits per week and she began to feel better over the following year.
Barbara began to work as a tutor for children with special needs at the community
center—work that she had been putting off for a long time but that would be satisfy-
ing and meaningful to her. She began to live her life again.
Objectives
After reading this chapter the reader will be able to:
■ Understand the variety of losses that may occur in middle adulthood and
how these losses differ from those of adults in other life phases.
■ Describe the developmental tasks of middle adulthood and explain how a
midlife adult might cope with grief and loss.
■ Explain how theories of loss/grief/bereavement influence practice with
midlife adults.
