Grief and Loss Across the Lifespan, Second Edition

222 Grief and Loss Across the Lifespan

all gifted to me

all submerged in a drawer

After the funeral

his photos surfacing

so too my

thousands of memories

spring evenings playing baseball

summer vacations picking blackberries in Wild Wood

autumn nights lying on our backs on picnic benches

counting shooting stars

winter days mittened throwing snowballs

Wearing boots and six-shooters

walking to our neighborhood theater

watching cowboy movies

Just us, always the two of us

together

Now, I’m the Lone Ranger

The sole keeper of our memories

by myself, I climb the sappy pine tree

in front of our apartment

unpartnered, I collect Coke bottles

to exchange for penny candy

I sit alone atop a turned over lifeguard stand

on a Jersey beach, the sun descending

Losing Jack: Accidental Death of a Spouse in Midlife

Jean

Jean is an administrative assistant at a large university who is using only first names

to protect her privacy. She was married to Jack for 27 years and continues to live in

their home, care for their animals, and raise their horses.

On Tuesday, June 11, 2013, I received a call at work around 10:30. It was my

friend Tara, whose husband worked with mine; they both were longshoremen

who unload cargo containers on the waterfront. She told me there had been an

accident at the pier and that I should go to the trauma unit at the hospital as

soon as possible. A large forklift carrying a steel coil had backed over Jack. My

supervisor, Rosalie, drove me. I had no idea how badly Jack was hurt. I always

understood that Jack’s job could be dangerous with all the heavy machines

and cargo. During the drive, I made phone calls to my sister and others; every-

one asked me to keep them posted about how Jack was doing and said they

would pray for him.

The drive seemed to take forever and I had a horrible feeling. I recognized

that feeling from years before when Jack had called me at work and simply said