248 Grief and Loss Across the Lifespan
Readings
Retirement
William P. Miller
William P. Miller retired in 2006 after 43 years of working in government, academia,
and the nonprofit world. He earned a BA in Government and an MPA in urban affairs
from American University in Washington, DC. During the last 28 years of his career, he
served as either executive director or CEO of three nonprofit organizations. Since retir-
ing, Mr. Miller has engaged in a variety of activities, including consulting, volunteering,
travel, and lifelong learning. He is an avid photographer and an avowed “news junkie.”
He is also a dedicated procrastinator so that “there is always something more to do.”Some people can’t afford to retire. Others don’t retire because the world of
work is their life and they have a great fear of leaving a big hole in their life,
both in terms of time and relationships. Some have been so consumed with
work that they have no outside interests. Still others retire for health reasons,
or because a job is phased out and they have no choice.
None of those circumstances applied to me. I was a 67-year-old man who
loved my job and was at the height of my career. But, after many years of reward-
ing nonprofit leadership jobs requiring long hours of work and limited vacation
times, I was ready for a different lifestyle that included extensive travel, time for
reading fiction (instead of newspapers, reports, and memos), and time with my
wife and geographically spread out family. My wife, who saw how involved I
was in my work, was in a near panic about my retiring and being around the
house all the time. She now admits, 6 years later, that she didn’t need to worry.
It was emotionally difficult to give up my job because it was such a large part
of me. Nearly all my friends and acquaintances were work related. How would I
separate from work and still maintain important friendships? Also, much of my
feeling of self-worth was wrapped up in my work-related activities. I determined
from the beginning that I would stay involved in a number of my favorite activi-
ties on a volunteer basis, while maintaining more flexibility in my schedule.
After retiring at the end of 2006, the next 9 months were spent being care
free and traveling. During the late spring, we traveled to visit my sister in
Switzerland and then she joined us for 2 weeks in Rome where I had lived for
4 years as a teenager. We visited all the historic sites that tourists visit, but we
also located the three addresses where I had lived, visited my old school, and
met two of my mother’s former coworkers who were approaching 90 years of
age. It was my first return to Rome in 30 years and I felt right at home. After
this 5-week trip to Switzerland and Rome, we stayed at home for a few weeks
before heading to Steamboat Springs, Colorado for a month where both our son
and daughter had settled. The Colorado Rockies are beautiful in the summer
time and we did lots of local exploration, sometimes with our son and daugh-
ter-in-law, sometimes with our daughter, son-in-law and two granddaughters,
and sometimes on our own. It was the beginning of many wonderful visits.
Back in Baltimore that first fall, I began looking for a small number of
activities that would keep me involved with my friends and passions, but not