9 Retirement and Reinvention 257away from poverty and loneliness. On the other hand, if one wants instant
gratification, delivering a meal to a lonely but appreciative person, will do it.
These projects and activities that at present have meaning to me did not
just appear on my doorstep. During these past several years of not working for
a paycheck, I have tried a smorgasbord of activities. I have tutored children in
the inner city, served as a docent, played in a weekly bridge game, attended a
monthly book discussion. Right now, I believe that the projects I have chosen
give me joy and I hope benefit others.
Just as in other stages of our lives, we need others to support us. So I feel in
the retirement years, we don’t do this alone. Certainly my husband who encour-
aged me to follow my retirement bliss is a main reason for my being happy with
what I do now. And he gets a kick out of seeing me perform. Friends also have
been encouraging, not only with suggestions but also serving as a sounding
board. Once when I was discussing an activity I felt guilty about giving up with
a close friend, she reminded me that I never talked about that activity with pas-
sion, the way I did with my music and Holocaust project. I realized it was okay
to give it up. So I learned that another advantage of saying you’re retired is that
you can spend your time doing what you love, not what you have to do.SUMMARY
One of the themes of this life phase is “letting go of what doesn’t really mat-
ter, experimenting with what seems to work, and getting on with whatever is
next” (Levine, 2005, p. 150). Malinda (vignette at the beginning of this chapter)
is struggling with letting go and grieving the loss of her academic position; yet,
she will be able to forge ahead and create a new life for herself. Malinda’s experi-
ence is similar to that of Carla (reading in our first edition) for whom retirement
brought with it the loss of social position, interaction with colleagues, and a
sense of contributing to society. Prior to reinventing her life, Carla had to grieve
the loss of the aspects of her work life that were meaningful to her. Malinda is
still in the “grief” phase, exacerbated by multiple transitions in her life.
Another theme that emerges during this life phase is that of readjusting
the work, family, and self-balance. This phase is marked by a search for what
is most meaningful for the adult as she or he explores and experiments with
new activities. All of the cases presented at the end of this chapter demonstrate
the importance of rebalancing work, family, and time for self. Bill wanted more
time to travel time with family; Marcia enjoys her children, grandchildren,
travels, volunteers in meaningful activities and “does yoga to keep it all in
balance”; Jean combines teaching in a Lifelong Learning Institute with her
involvement in social change movements; and Norma volunteers at her syn-
agogue, Meals on Wheels, and the Gratz College Holocaust Archives. These
individuals all navigated the transitions of activities, self-worth, and interests
that are allowing them to enjoy the time after full-time work ends.
For retiring adults, the loss of a professional/work identity and redefin-
ing the self is less difficult when regrets are reframed as lessons and adults