259
TEN
Older Adults
Marilyn was 75 when her husband Warren’s Parkinson’s disease worsened. Marilyn
had spent the last 5 years as his caregiver, attending medical appointments, and
watching him carefully so that he did not fall and injure himself. Marilyn and
Warren had traveled extensively before his diagnosis and loved the cultural opportu-
nities available to them in a neighboring city. They enjoyed films and spending time
with their three grandchildren who lived within a few hours of their home. They had
been married for over 50 years when Warren died from Parkinson’s and Marilyn
was distraught. Although she had developed many close relationships with women
friends who lived nearby, she and Warren had spent weekends and meals together
and she missed him. Marilyn and Warren had continued to share a very satisfactory
sexual life together, and after several months of widowhood Marilyn felt alone and
depressed. At first, her two adult children and friends were constantly at the house
bringing food and conversation. However, the nights were difficult, as she had to
learn to sleep without her partner of 50 years.
After 3 months, Marilyn realized that she would have to dine by herself unless
she developed a plan with a friend or with family. Her adult children and their
children had busy lives and were attentive by telephone but could not fill the void.
Marilyn was also beginning to experience arthritis pain in both her hips and knees.
Her physician suggested physical therapy and she also decided to join a nearby health
club so that she could swim indoors on a regular basis. She was told she had devel-
oped high blood pressure and seemed depressed and her doctor suggested that she
see a therapist. Getting older was becoming more of a “downer” than she had ever
expected. And she had no one to talk with at the end of the day or even at lunch—
Warren had retired and was home for lunch the last few years, so Marilyn had gotten
out of the habit of lunching with friends.
Marilyn called one of her friends who suggested a therapist. The therapist sug-
gested that Marilyn maintain a regular schedule and return to the piano lessons that
she enjoyed. Once she began playing the piano again and joined a local chorus, her
spirits began to rise and getting up in the morning was not so difficult. Marilyn also
began to set up more regular luncheon plans with friends. She realized she needed to
make travel plans with a group, as she and Warren had loved travel but had given
it up when his symptoms worsened. She contacted her travel agent who suggested a
group that was going to Italy. Marilyn’s life was starting to improve: she still missed
Warren very much, physically and emotionally, but life seemed worth living again,
and for that she was grateful.
