10 Older Adults 269Death of Friends
Due to increases in average life expectancies and the life stage of older adults,
elders are at highest risk for the loss of friends and colleagues. This is espe-
cially true for those adults whose social networks are comprised primarily
of peers. Nevertheless, the death of friends is seldom a matter for sympathy
despite the fact that friends share a history of experiences and memories that
no one else can fully understand (Hooyman & Kiyak, 2008). Because older
adults deal with so many types of losses, they may not have much energy to
invest in new relationships. We cannot emphasize enough the importance of
senior centers and other programs that provide opportunities for socialization,
particularly with people of different ages.
Resilience in the Face of Death Losses
Resilience is the capacity to experience challenging events like losses and trag-
edies and be able to cope and function after a period of healing. Many older
adults bring strong personal capacities to coping with loss. Some can reevalu-
ate negative events to find something positive in the experience, while others
lower their standards and expectations to handle adversity. Moss et al. (2001)
report that older adults may be more skilled at finding meaning in their losses
than are younger adults. Older adults’ declining health, degree of religiosity/
spirituality, socioeconomic class, concurrent stressors, personal capacities,
relationship with the deceased, and degree of familial and social support affect
how they experience loss (Carr et al., 2006).
Literature on the resilience of the elderly after the death of a spouse
indicates that although there is diversity in response to spousal loss, the most
common reaction (45%) from a prospective study of older widows and wid-
owers fell into the resilient category, characterized by low levels of depression,
and grief symptoms (Bonanno et al., 2002). However, it is not uncommon for
older bereaved spouses to develop a serious illness or to die within 1 year of
the death of a spouse (Dande & Pandit, 2013). Social support can mitigate the
stress surrounding such a loss. Whether or not social support is perceived by
the grieving spouse to be meaningful and helpful is a critical aspect of the
benefit of social support to resilience or positive aging (Hill, 2005). Notably, in
a small survey of therapists and social workers in later life, all reported that
knowledge of themselves, purpose and meaning keep them “relishing” life
and ready to keep working toward things like social justice and maintaining
important relationships (Jackson, 2013). Indeed, helpful social networks seem
essential to resilience. Unfortunately, the social networks of older adults are
narrowed by the death and deteriorating health of their members. It is most
helpful if older adults can limit relationships that are no longer supportive
while creating new and supportive relationships.
Suicide Among Older Adults
Older adults who are less resilient and overcome by their losses may decide
to end their lives. Suicide rates and the lethality of attempts increase with age,
and men over 75 have one of the highest suicide rates (Dombrovski et al., 2010;
Sisask, Kolves, & Varnik, 2009). Older adults may have a stronger wish to die
than those who are younger.