11 Conclusions 299
Vachon (2015) synthesizes years of research about self-care for those
providing hospice and palliative care services. She asserts confidently that
those who take care of themselves are more able to avoid burnout and com-
passion fatigue. “Venting” about negative aspects of the job, living stoically
with work-stress, and/or watching a lot of television or using substances
are not good forms of self-care. Rather, Vachon encourages particular atten-
tion to the pleasure and fulfillment one gets from extending compassion to
others (“compassion satisfaction”) along with exercise and physical activ-
ity, willingness to take time off, meditative and reflective practices, exquisite
empathy with good boundaries, resilience, and spirituality as part of a good
self-care plan.
When an airplane cabin decompresses, one must help oneself to the oxy-
gen before helping others. Self-care is the oxygen of grief work. In grief work
as in trauma work, we must help contain our clients’ grief and trauma, be
fully with them in a nonanxious manner, and yet be enlivened rather than
debilitated by this work. We ask you to care well for yourselves so that you
can provide important care, treatment, and empathy to the grievers you meet
along your way.
Discussion Questions
- If someone asked you what theories or concepts defined the work you do
with grievers, what theories would you invoke? Why?
- How do you typically feel when someone is “leaning” on you for comfort
and care?
- What is an example of compassion satisfaction from your own life?
- What is your favorite self-care practice?
