388 RüdigerKunow
therapist trying to cure her, as well as representatives of the
psychoanalytic profession in conversation with Nakhla who,as a reader
remarksin theforeword,"displayconsiderable literary skillin thefrank
exploration of their feelings throughout this challenging experience"
(Nakhla and Jackson xiii). Hence, what the subtitle describes as "Two
Accounts of a Psychoanalytic Journey" is also a tale of intense and
conflictualengagementsbetweenaselfinpainandprofessionalothers.
WhatmakesthetextsospecialisthatJacksonisnotonlytheauthor
of the autobiographical part of the pain narrative; she is also in a very
directsenseherselfthe"author"ofthepainsheis"in":sufferingfroman
intensepsychosis(diagnosedas"borderlinesyndrome"),sheisdrivento
inflictpainfulwoundsonherselfbyscratchingandcuttingherskinwith
shardsofbrokenglass.Inordertoputherpainintowords,Graceorher
co-authors rely on a very conventional literary form. Throughout,
Grace's autobiographical text (in diary form), interlaced with Nakhla's
retrospective diagnostic reports, is scripted essentially as travel or quest
narrative, as a movement of body and psyche, from "False Self" (ch. 2)
via a number of way stations ("First Hospitalization" [ch. 3], "Second
Hospitalization" [ch. 5]) en route to "Finding a Self" (ch. 7) to a stable
self-identitywhosestatusisprofessionallyevaluated("Appendix").
Inthecontextofmypresentargument,however,Iamlessinterested
inthetext'saestheticizationofthepainexperiencethaninthenumerous
and repeated problems of communicating the pain experience even to
professionals whose training was supposed to provide them with the
necessary tools for analyzing and appreciating what is going on in
another person's mind. For these problems, the interactions as they
evolve between analyst and analysand during the sixteen years of
treatment recorded by the book provide ample material. Grace had
originally sought therapy because there was no other way for her to
assuage "the screaming raging violence" (27) inside her than by
inflictingpainonherself.Graceasksherselfandhertherapist:
What do other people do with their rage, their violence, their
destructiveness?...Ican'tsustainwhatIfeel,can'tendure...[the]dark
harvestofthepast.It'sallstuckinsideme,festering,gangrenous.In old
days they would have bled me with leeches, stuck the slimy sucking
things over my body to draw out the bad blood... I want to leech
myself,thesharpnewdouble-edgedblades...(44-45)