50 | MENTORS MAGAZINE | EDITION 1
dency to be very impres-
sionable, because they real-
ly don't trust themselves.
And with so many people on
social media, we see this
even more. People compare
themselves to others, think
they are less than others
and then start questioning
themselves. There's some-
thing wrong with me, they
think.14. You isolate yourself.
One of the things that peo-
ple-pleasers do is that they
have this intense need not
to be wrong. They will avoid
an argument at all costs. So,
they will isolate and move
away from confrontation.
Self-isolation is also a way of
self-protection, and saying,
“Don't see me. I really don't
want anybody to observe
my flaws.”13. You are immature.
When we're talking about
people pleasers, these peo-ple often get stuck in the
emotional intelligence of a
child, meaning they seek out
the appreciation, attention,
and the protection of other
people.12. You are excessively al-
truistic or philanthropic.
You are constantly giving
away things in order to buy
a person's love or respect.
And no, I am not talking
about birthday gifts, Christ-
mas presents or a token of
appreciation to your em-
ployer. Rather, I am talking
about consistently giving in
order to get appreciation
and attention back.11. You are addicted to ap-
proval.
This is when you will do any-
thing, including compromis-
ing your own beliefs, morals
or values, for the sake of ap-
proval. I think what makes
this toxic is when we're not
getting that approval fromother individuals, it's painful
-- it physically, emotionally
and mentally hurts. You go
into self-blame mode: What
did I do? Why was I wrong?
Does this person not like
me? And then it turns into a
kind of obsessive behavior:
How am I going to win back
the approval of this person?10. You have low self-
esteem.
Low self-esteem, or low self-
worth, is when we have a
very stunted image of our-
selves. I understand that
there are situations in our
lives we can’t control -- ter-
rible upbringing, unhealthy
relationships, to name a few
-- that can impact our confi-
dence. But I believe the root
of this really comes from
fear. It comes from adopt-
ing, adapting and protect-
ing yourself within a dys-
functional unit where a per-
son will not let you express
your own individuality. For
instance, If you're a gregari-
ous person, but you're fami-
ly consistently shames you