MENTORS MAGAZINE | EDITION 1 | 51
for being "too much,” you
will shut down your true
personality to be who oth-
ers are telling you to be. You
shut down your ability to
communicate in a way that
you need to communicate.
Your ideas, feelings and
accomplishments are not
validated by other people,
and it causes a loss of self.
Therefore, you seek that
self in someone else and
piggyback on their accom-
plishments, emotions and
happiness.9. You rationalize away
any wrong-doing.
You're constantly making ex-
cuses for poor behavior, ei-
ther your own or someone
close to you (i.e. family
members, spouse). You ra-
tionalize it away, focusing on
the one thing being done
right versus the 10 things
you are doing wrong.8. You are emotionally de-
pendent or codependent.
Emotionally dependent is
when you are dependent on
another person, because
you are afraid to own yourown feelings. So, if you can't
be happy without somebody
else being happy, if you have
to walk around on eggshells
in your own home, then
you're a people-pleaser.Codependent is when you're
with somebody that has an
issue, you tolerate that issue
and don’t set a boundary for
yourself.Almost everybody has been
in situations like these intheir life, as we all have is-
sues. It's when you’re with
somebody who refuses to
take responsibility for the
issue and don't do anything
about it, because you're
afraid to leave.7. You lack proper bounda-
ries.
While some may think not
having any boundaries in-
creases intimacy, I call BS
on that theory. By having
boundaries, you are saying,
“Here's who I am, here's
what I stand for, and I want
to be with somebody that
has the same kind of value
system I do.”If you don't have bounda-
ries, you are a doormat for
the world – and anybody
can do anything and you’re
not going to stop them.6. You are an over-doer.
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