52 | MENTORS MAGAZINE | EDITION 1
You are the person that has to have every-
thing right all the time. This comes from
more of an internal judgment, than an exter-
nal judgment. A lot of people have a dad or
a mom, a priest, a teacher, a coach or some-
body in their head that is constantly on them
about not being good enough., So every-
thing always has to be perfect. And, if it's not
in their head, it's somebody in their life; it's
like there's no room for mistakes there.5. You have a loss of control.
If, unfortunately, you were raised thinking
you were not good enough, you may seek
out attention to get approval from others.
You may continually make drama in your life
-- something is always going wrong. You are
constantly looking for some kind of sympa-
thy from other people.4. You are unable to say “no.”
“No” is a complete sentence, and it needs no
further explanation. However, the word no
can be one of the most difficult things for
people to say to other people. So, you will
lie, cheat, make excuses in order to not have
to look somebody else in the eye and just
say, “no.”When you say no and then give a huge ex-
planation, if unwarranted, that's a sign of
low self-esteem. You just need to say no and
move on.3. You have the desire to be loved.
The desire to be loved really comes from a
sense of not loving yourself. When we don't
love ourselves then we have a big issue, be-
cause we want that feeling of love. And if we
don't have the feeling of love, then we have
the threat of abandonment. So, if we can't
generate the love ourselves, we're going to
seek it in someone else; and when we're
seeking it in someone else, we have a ten-
dency to look over things that we probably
shouldn't be looking over.2. You are naïve.
It's our responsibility to stay abreast of
what's going on in the world, and not walk
around uninformed. You can't be informed
about everything, but when you walk
around with somebody that is just totally na-
ïve about everything in their life, they're hid-
ing. There's a safety component to that: The
less I know, the less fear that I have to be in.1. You trust.