electrical grid. So in Florida, where the nests are most numerous, electrical
companies have blamed many nonstorm power outages on the Monks. This
could be true, and conceivably, the parakeets’ evident territorial expansion
might threaten the very foundation of contemporary southern (human)
living: air conditioning, of course. Imagine the reversal of development
below the Mason-Dixon Line—massive human out-migration and stagger-
ing declines in acid rain and mercury contamination. More likely: imag-
ine a new war on terrorism, this enemy godless (we presume) and colored
green.
No less bizarre—yet entirely within reality—is a near-future South where
ground cover consists almost entirely of creeping bentgrass. Bentgrass,
of course, is the preferred cover for golf course greens because it may be
mowed short, deemed an instrumental necessity for the pushing of golf
balls short distances into the cup. Bentgrass is a horror to maintain, how-
ever; it is often sickly and vulnerable to invasion by other grass species
(also known as weeds). Thus we witness the frightening scene at every golf
course, first thing in the morning: Workers safely encased in what resemble
space suits, spraying chemicals. Here, then, was another opportunity for
the biochemical companies. Monsanto and Scott (the latter a dominant
seller of lawn seeds, chemicals, and maintenance equipment) conducted
research at an Oregon laboratory farm on a genetically modified () bent-
grass that might be maintained merely with occasional, light sprayings of
Roundup. Unless one is Scottish or a member of the Anarchist Golfing As-
sociation—all hating primped grasses—bentgrass might seem a boon:
preservation of a particular aesthetic with fewer chemicals. But then federal
oversight ofplant research revealed that pollen from the Monsanto-
Scott farm had drifted as far as thirteen miles away. Pollen drift is no less
problematic (arguably) than the toxic. Organic farmers are ruined by pollen
fromcrops of soy, corn, wheat, and papaya;corn calibrated for phar-
maceutical use is discovered among soybeans; Americancorn is found
in Mexico, which prohibitsplants, and so on. Now what? Roundup-
resistant bentgrass could take over virtually every disturbed surface and
spread everywhere, most disastrously in the South, American capital of
golf.^18 When, one must ask, will we have had enough of tampering with na-
ture, especially for our comfort, convenience, and monetary enrichment,
as opposed to elemental necessities of life?
tThis is the central question, I think, in Tom Wolfe’s sprawling Atlanta
novel of ,A Man in Full. Wolfe, a native of Richmond, was educated