strainwhen the same role has demands and expectations that contradict each other,
so we cannot possibly meet them all at once. For instance, the role of “student” might
ask us to submit to the professor’s authority andexercise independent thought. How
can a single behavior fill both demands? In my first teaching job, I was 21 years old,
and my students were middle-aged policemen. I noticed the students were having a
tough time figuring out how to relate to me. On the one hand, they were students
and I was the professor, so they knew they should act deferentially toward me. On
the other hand, I was the age of their children, so they expected me to act deferen-
tially toward them.
Role strain makes us feel worried, doubtful, and insecure, and it may force us to
abandon the role altogether. Goode (1960) found that we often solve the problem of
role strain by compartmentalizing, depending on subtle cues to decide if we should
submit or exercise independent thought right nowand often never even noticing the
contradiction.
A related problem, role conflict,happens when we try to play different roles with
extremely different or contradictory rules at the same time. If I am out with my bud-
dies, playing the cool, irreverent role of “friend,” and I see my teacher, who expects
the quiet, obedient student, I may have a problem. If I suddenly become polite, I will
lose face with my friends. If I remain irreverent, I will lose face with my teacher.
Because everyone is playing multiple roles all the time, role conflict is a common prob-
lem. Once a student who came to my office to discuss a test grade brought her tod-
dler twins with her. It was fascinating to watch her trying to balance the contradictory
roles of “student” and “mommy” without losing face in either.
What happens when we must leave a role that is central to our identity? Role exit
describes the process of adjustment that takes place when we move out of such a role.
Sometimes we leave roles voluntarily: We change jobs or religions, get divorced and
leave the “married” role, and so on. Sometimes we leave roles involuntarily: We
change age groups (suddenly our parents say “You’re not a kid
anymore”), get arrested, get fired. Whether we leave voluntar-
ily or involuntarily, we are likely to feel lost, confused, and sad.
Helen Rose Fucs Ebaugh (1988) notes four stages in voluntar-
ily exiting from significant social roles:1.Doubt.We are frustrated, burned out, or just unhappy with
our role.2.Search for alternatives.We observe people in other roles or
perhaps try them out ourselves temporarily. This may be a
lifelong process.3.Departure.Most people can identify a turning point, a spe-
cific moment or incident that marked their departure from the
role, even though they might continue to play it for some time.4.New role.It is very important to find a new role to take the
place of the old. People who leave a role involuntarily must
start the search for alternatives after departure, and it is quite
likely that they will try out several new roles before finding
one that they like.Roles and statuses give us, as individuals, the tools we need
to enter the social world. We feel grounded in our statuses; they
give us roots. And our roles provide us with a playbook, a script,
for any situation. We are ready to join others.80 CHAPTER 3SOCIETY: INTERACTIONS, GROUPS, AND ORGANIZATIONSBallplayer or babe? Women
who enter traditionally male
domains—from the operating
room to the boardroom to the
sport stadium—must con-
stantly negotiate between
different sets of role expecta-
tions. Jennie Finch may be an
Olympic softball gold medalist
and the holder of the NCAA
record for most consecutive
wins, but she still has to
look like a cover girl to
reaffirm traditional gender
expectations. n