UPFROnT
8
IVAN RAKITIC: MORE
PANTS THAN EVERIvan Rakitic gave the shirt off his back
in his attempts to make Barcelona the
greatest side in Europe – and now he’s
given them his shorts, too.
The Croatian midfielder won four
league titles and a Champions League
during six years at Barça, then rejoined
Sevilla in 2020. The pandemic meant
he couldn’t say goodbye to the crowd,
and even when he headed back to the
Camp Nou last season, matches were
still being played behind closed doors.
Things were different when Sevilla
visited Barcelona this April, so Rakitic
said his farewells by handing home
fans almost his entire kit – thankfully
after the match, not before it, or he’d
have been the only one there playing
shirts versus skins.7
GHOSTBUSTERSThe World Cup has produced
many a weird mascot over the years,
including a football-playing orange,
a jalapeno, an armadillo and a cockerel
called Footix. Now we can add another
oddity to the list: Casper the Ghost?!
Not really – it may look like the film
star, but it’s actually called La’eeb, an
Arabic word meaning super-skilled
player. The design seems to be based
on traditional Qatari dress, although
FIFA would only say: “He comes from
the mascot-verse – a place that’s
indescribable. We encourage everyone
to imagine what it looks like.”
Potentially that’s Arabic for ‘we’re
talking complete nonsense’ – although
Phil Jones is already trying to make
contact, asking whether Casper would
like to join his NBA chat for just $160.4
FIGHTING SPIRITUkraine has been devastated
by war, but a number of footballers are
doing what they can to help.
Among the ruins has been the home
of Ukrainian top-flight outfit Desna
Chernihiv, hit by missiles, while many
lives have been lost. Dynamo Kyiv and
Shakhtar Donetsk have gone on tour
to raise funds, while six of the Ukraine
squad that took on England at Euro
2020 have created a foundation to
help both the military and refugees.
Ex-Ballon d’Or winner Ihor Belanov
(pictured left), from Odesa, joined the
fight himself, signing up for the army
at 61 – defending his country from an
enemy he once teamed up with on
the continental stage, in the USSR
side that reached the final of Euro 88.3
“NEVER TOUCHED HIM”Aki Riihilahti was known as
a combative midfielder during his days
with Crystal Palace – and he obviously
hasn’t changed one bit.
The 45-year-old exhibited his softer
side late last year, starring on Finland’s
Strictly Come Dancing – hustling Palace
fans to help him out with online votes- but the darker part of his personality
still lingered. “Can one slide tackle in
ballroom dancing?” he asked.
The answer was no, but things were
different when he recently returned to
Selhurst Park and slide-tackled Palace
TV’s presenter at half-time, just for the
hell of it, with absolutely no football in
sight. The feisty Finn even protested
his innocence to an invisible referee –
old habits die hard...
6
STAR PRIZEBig news in Italy: the giant
golden tapir is back.
Last year, FFT brought you news of
the tradition started by an Italian TV
show, honouring stars who’ve been
humiliated. Normally they hand out
a small tapir, but an 8ft version is
reserved for the worst cases.
The giant tapir was wheeled out
(literally) for Juventus after their
failure to launch the European Super
League; this time, Roberto Mancini
was initially handed just the small
trophy, following Italy’s elimination
from World Cup qualifying. That was
until the massive one turned up, too.
“I deserve it,” admitted Mancini,
presumably wishing he could have
parked the tapir in front of the goal
when they played North Macedonia.
9
TECH-ING THE MICKEYBrazil ended Chile’s World
Cup dreams with a 4-0 triumph at the
Maracana, and sympathy was in short
supply among the home support.
Chile attempted to avoid elimination
at the same stadium in a World Cup
qualifier in 1989, when keeper Roberto
Rojas pretended to be hit by a flare –
cutting himself with a razor hidden in
his glove, getting the game called off.
This time Brazil coasted to victory,
effectively confirming their rivals’ exit –
one fan had brought along his iPad for
that very eventuality, typing out ‘Adios,
Chile!’ in massive letters, then holding
it up to the camera.
Maybe he didn’t want to bring along
a banner with the same message, just
in case Chile caught sight of it before
full-time and got the razors out again.5
PHIL JONES: KING
OF THE METAVERSEPhil Jones returned to action after
nearly two years when he lined up for
Manchester United in January – and
now he’s taking on the metaverse.
The world’s top gurning footballer
is the face of Red Lion Sports Club,
a digital venue where punters pay
$160 to buy an NFT as membership,
then join Jones and other celebrities
to chat online about live sports events.
“Web 3.0 and the metaverse offer
a fascinating opportunity for people
to get involved in a family-friendly
community,” the ex-England defender
genuinely said. No, this isn’t some sort
of weird fever dream where Phil Jones
wants to talk to you about the NBA –
it’s actually real life.2
“TO ME, TO YOU”There’s no game of football
that can’t be improved by a Chuckle
brother delivering the matchball in
a crash helmet – the Papa John’s
Trophy final was no exception.
Paul Chuckle was at Wembley to
cheer on his beloved Rotherham, so
the EFL tasked him with riding into
the stadium on a pizza delivery bike
before kick-off – and no slacking.
Chuckle was joined by comedian
pal Tim Vine, supporter of opponents
Sutton United – the pair just about
managed to transfer the ball from
bike to plinth without some sort of
slapstick incident, but Vine then saw
Sutton concede an equaliser in the
96th minute and lose in extra time.
Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.
FourFourTwo June 2022 13