At a literal level, it is what it says it is.
You raise and care for wobbly dogs
through different life stages, until
they either pass away or you choose
to store them, indefinitely, which lets
you hang on to their genes for future
use. Between each life
stage they mutate very
slightly depending on
their gut flora – there’s
a collect-’em-all type
encyclopaedia on what
to eat for which
mutation – and
breeding two dogs
together lets you
accelerate that through simulating
multiple litters and generations into
the one egg you want to keep.
This one mechanic is the most fun
part of the game. You bring two
wildly disparate dogs together – or
two that will fix some horrible flaw
in a dog you love, like breeding out
the too-flat faces on pugs that block
their airways – and watch new litters
of wobbly canines fall from the
ceiling with a burst of confetti. It’s an
immediate bundle of personalities,
with affectionate dogs
emoting hearts all over
the place, and neurotic
dogs anxiously barking,
while the wobbliest of
dogs just tip over onto
their sides and never
get up again. You then
pick two to breed
again, or choose the
final dog whose genes are spliced
into an egg in that majestic cutscene.
It’s good, chaotic fun that fully
exploits the premise, down to the
background music becoming warped
and distorted if you insist on
destabilising the simulation withrepeated inbreeding. But it’s over
when the egg is hatched: you get one
dog from one egg, and – as far as I
could tell – one egg from one adult
dog. You’re left muddling through the
rest of the game to pass the time,
which unfortunately isn’t as finely
honed as the rest of it.
The actual wobbly dogs
themselves are great, and the word
‘dog’ takes on a weird and wonderful
new meaning as I end up looking
after creatures that look like sheep,
rhinos, and... polka-dotted six-legged
creatures not of this Earth. But most
of the time I spend with the game is
trying to work out how to have fun
with it. There’s plenty that’s just
there, like filling in the gut flora
encyclopaedia, collecting decorations
and achievements, and cleaning up
after the dogs’ endless spills, that my
first few hours in the game feel
directionless and box-ticky.PUPPY LOVE
After I sort of stumble across how
fun the breeding mechanic is, I
switch to making separate pens for
distinct breeds, so I could keep my
tiny dogs in chicken nuggets and
hamburgers to keep them stocky, andW
hen you breed two dogs together in Wobbledogs,
you’re treated to a cutscene where a vast stone
automaton of a dog mashes the two parents together
in its giant hands while little hearts flow out of them.
There are no other cutscenes in the game, and it
seems to come out of nowhere. It’s great, and out of proportion to the
rest of the game, and feels like it’s there for sheer joy. And honestly that
is the spirit of Wobbledogs in a nutshell.
UNBALANCED
The pet physics aren’t the only wobbly part of WOBBLEDOGSBy Ruth CassidyThe word ‘dog’
takes on a
weird and
wonderful new
meaningTOP: (^) I let Garbage eat like garbage, so his gut
flora shamesme.
RIGHT: Conked out, surrounded by food.
NEED TO KNOW
WHAT IS IT?
A pet sim and physics
sandbox where you care
for and breed wobbly
and mutating dogs
across their lifespans
EXPECT TO PAY
£15
DEVELOPER
Animal Uprising
PUBLISHER
Secret ModeREVIEWED ON
AMD Ryzen 7 5800H,
8GB RAM, Nvidia RTX
3060
MULTIPLAYER
No
LINK
wobbledogs.comWobbledogs