The Sunday Times - UK (2022-05-01)

12 1 May 2022

THEATRE

‘P

icasso was burgled and did

a drawing of the robbers.

Police arrested a horse and

two sardines.” Aah, Barry

Cryer. “I said to my par-

rot... how are you enjoy-

ing lockdown?” He replied, “What... in

this cage?” Ooh, Barry Cryer.

“A wife is in the bathroom trying on

a new dress. She comes out and says to

her husband: ‘Does my bum look big in

this?’ He says: ‘Oh, be fair, love, it’s

quite a small bathroom.’

Oh dear, Barry Cryer. Gone. He is no

more. He is extinct. Many fans, like me,

would tell him that he’d become a

national treasure, but he’d flash back:

“A national treasure sounds a lot like

something that needs to be dug up.”

Typically, as with all anecdotes

about “Baz” — as he liked to be known

— I am straying off the point. I’ve taken

to print expressly to tell you about a

comedy show in his honour. Open to

all, it will break all the rules of a tradi-

tional memorial service. Instead of a

few bittersweet tributes delivered by

teary celebrity friends and family, Ste-

phen Fry, Harry Hill, Barry Humphries,

Bill Bailey, Stewart Lee, Gyles Bran-

dreth and many more will be at the

Lyric Theatre in the West End, London.

Michael Macintyre, John Cleese and

Eddie Izzard will be there on film. Baz

will be remembered by the cream of

British comedy in front of what he per-

haps needed most — an audience.

While it’s true that Cryer wrote for

scores of the most popular stars of the

past seven decades — from Morecambe

and Wise to Richard Pryor — he loved

performing too. He was touring just

weeks before his death in January

aged 86, which he’d done since his

debut at the City Varieties Music Hall

in his home town of Leeds. “His mum

crept into one of his first shows, to

find he came on between the strip-

pers,” his son Bob told me recently.

Cryer loved writing, singing, telling

jokes and improvising. He also loved to

laugh at the material of other people.

He’d also tell you why it was so good.

His kind of sink-or-swim start

explains why in later life he would sup-

port all the new acts. I’m never sure

if audiences know just how venal

comedy and showbusiness is.

Rivals vie for the same work, for

the biggest laugh, for the same

roles and the same agent.

Picking your way along these

mean streets, it’s very rare

for an established name to

pick up the phone and say,

“Hey, you’re doing great. I

loved your show.”

Yet Cryer did this all

the time. I don’t mean by

this rhetorically that he

did it all the time, I mean on

my honour that HE DID IT

ALL THE TIME. When the

alternative comics emerged in

the 1980s, battle lines were drawn

as mainstream stars felt their

work and lifestyle were under

threat. Yet Cryer was one of the

only people to offer the hand of

support, a bridge between the

generations, from the days of variety

to Twitter.

Which explains why they’re all on

the bill in June. He even called me

every week to critique my Sunday BBC

Radio 4 programme Broadcasting

House. I’d be walking my dog in the

hour or so after each edition and my

phone would ring. “Cryer here.. .” If, by

bad luck or bad judgment, I’d helmed

a mediocre hour, he’d always pick on

the one thing that had gone well.

In fact I knew something was wrong

when these calls stopped coming. So

why not raise a titter and a pound for

charity by booking a ticket? If you

won’t be there, I can give you his final

joke for free.

A man and his wife are at a café.

“That’s the Archbishop of Canterbury

isn’t it?” says the husband. “Go over

and ask him.” So the woman hops

across the road and says: “Excuse me,

but are you the Archbishop of Canter-

bury?” “F*** off,” replies the stranger.

The wife returns to her husband,

who asks: “Well, what did he say?” “He

told me to f*** off,” she says. “Oh dear,”

he says. “Now we’ll never know.” c

Tickets for Barry Cryer: A Celebration on

Jun 13 at the Lyric Theatre are available

from nimaxtheatres.com. Profits go to

the Royal Variety Charity

Perfect payoff Cryer’s life in comedy

is being celebrated in the West End

First film I saw at the cinema

When I was seven I clearly

remember seeing Star Wars: A New

Hope with my dad and pretending

on the journey home that our Ford

Capri was the Millennium Falcon.

First book I loved

The Catcher in The Rye by

JD Salinger was the first grown-up

book that blew my mind. When I was

about 16 I remember closing the

book, staring into space for a while

and just thinking: “Woah.”

First album I bought

This is not cool, but it was Shaky

by Shakin’ Stevens. When I was ten

all I listened to was Elvis Presley and

early rock‘n’roll and then I saw

Shakin’ Stevens and thought: “Wow,

that’s the same music and he’s alive.”

You could say he was a modern Elvis.

First concert I went to

The Monsters of Rock festival at

Castle Donington Raceway. I was

a teenage metalhead who was

obsessed with guitars and it had a

line-up that included AC/DC, Van

Halen, Ozzy Osbourne, Mötley Crüe

and Gary Moore.

First pop-inspired fashion trends

I adopted

In the metal years I had a mullet

and wore a denim jacket with

leather underneath and I got my

mum to embroider it with my

favourite bands, like AC/DC.

First actor I loved

Paul Newman was not only one of

the most beautiful human beings

I’ve ever seen, but also he was a

fantastic actor and so charismatic.

He was such an important actor to

me from a very early age. Harrison

Ford is also a superstar,

isn’t he? c

Grace is on ITV,

Sundays at 8pm

Jake Helm

MY CULTURAL FIRSTS

JOHN SIMM

The actor on swooning

at Paul Newman — and

Ozzy Osbourne

BARRY’S

LAST

LAUGH

Well, you wouldn’t

want Barry Cryer’s

memorial show

to be serious.

By Paddy

O’Connell

Hear Barry in his own words on the

final recordings he made in his

podcast, Now, Where Were We? A

special tribute edition will be on our

website next Sunday, with guests

Barry Humphries, Sandi Toksvig,

Stephen Fry, Rebecca Front, Danny

Baker and many more.

LISTEN TO HIS LAST WORDS

SHUTTERSTOCK