March• 2019 | 103COURSE OF ACTION
If it matters to you, you’ll find a way.CHARLIE GILKEYREADER’S DIGEST
compartment,Iseethefinestub-
bleontheshinymoundofherskin.
Itlookswhite,driedout,likecorn
stubbleonasnowyfield.
Sheslipsherwigbackonandleans
herheadbackagainstherseat.She
looksatme.
Iamoverwhelmed.Ifeelexcruci-
atingsorrowatthesightofherhair
growingbackinapoisonedfield.
Ithinkofminefields,hertumours
lyinginwaitfortheincautiousfoot,
thecarelessstep.
Not knowing how to proceed, but
feeling the need to speak, I say, rather
tritely, that the chances of recovery
are so much higher today than in the
past, that three or four of my friends
had cancerous growths but are now all
doing well. I don’t mention Gina.
She is not taken in.
“Perhaps they were in an earlier
phase than I. I know I waited too long.
Six weeks at least after I felt the first
lump. I thought, I’ll go tomorrow, next
week.”
She turns to her reflection in the
window and adjusts her wig.
“Or perhaps your friends had less
stressful lives than I’ve had. My hus-
band left me alone with our children
when I wasn’t quite 30. I had to look
for work, look after the children, take
care of the house. It was very stressful.”
“How many children do you have?”
“Three, between 12 and 18. Also,
as a mother, you get used to always
putting the children first.” She says it
in a matter-of-fact way.
“Yes, I know,” I add, although I
brought up just one child alone.
“I never took care of myself. I never
bought myself anything unless I really
needed it. Now, when it may be too
late,Iamchanging.”
She rubs the soft suede of her jacket
and smooths down her silk skirt. They
are obviously new purchases.
“Now I do things that make me
happy,” she says with a big smile.
“Things that are good for me. I started
Qi Gong! The exercises are wonderful,
Ifeelrejuvenated.”
The train is slowing down. The lights
of St. Valentin pierce the darkness
outside the window.
Ifeeltouchedbyherquietcourage.
Notoncewasthereangerorself-pity.
Just calm acceptance in the face of
the unacceptable.
She slips on her shoes, stands up
and adjusts her wig.
As the train pulls into the station,
she turns to me. I stand up to shake
herhand.Instead,sheholdsouther
arms and gives me a hug. We both
know we will never see each other
again.