March• 2019 | 59That’s Outrageous!
THIS IS NOT THE SMARTEST WAY TO ...the string and fell out of
reach. Ten minutes later,
it went off. That was in 2004.
It has been going off at the
same time every day since.GRAB A BITEAwomanpulled
uptoafast-fooddrive-through
window and ordered a
sandwich.Thatwaswhenshe
wasinformedthatshewasnot
at a drive-through but at the
security booth of the Riverhead
Correctional Facility in New
York State, which was convenient.
She was promptly arrested and
chargedwithdrivingwhileunder
theinfluenceofdrugsaswell as
driving without a licence.HELP VICTIMSAnagentoftheUS
Department of Homeland Security
wasinSaltLakeCitytowarnof
the dangers of sexual exploitation.
Afterhespoke,hehandedouthis
business card. A reporter later
calledthenumberonthecard,
only to be greeted with, “Hi, sexy!”
It seems some numerals had been
inadvertentlytransposed,andthe
numberonthecardwas for a very
different service.CRACK NUTSIn 1991, a man in
China received a mallet-like gift that,
over the following 25 years, he used
to smash open walnuts. That
is, until he happened
to receive a leaflet
passedoutbylocal
police regarding
explosive devices.
His nutcracker was
in fact a 1960s-era
hand grenade.GET A DRIVER’S
LICENCEWith the
examiner in the car, a
teenager from the US began her
driver’s test by turning on the
ignition, taking the car out of park,
tapping the accelerator, and driving
her car into – and through – the brick
wall of the examination station.HOOK UP A TVTo find out where
the cable needed to go through the
wall to connect to his TV, a DIYer set
the alarm on a battery-powered
clock to go off in ten minutes, tied a
string around the clock, and slowly
lowered it through an air vent. When
the timer went off, he’d know where
PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK;. ILLUSTRATION BY JOSÉ DE LA ROSAto drill. Except the clock slipped from