TORMENTED?
DRIVEN WITLESS?
FEAR NOT,
HELP IS JUST
A SHORT
LETTER AWAYNAKED AMBITION
How does a female entrepreneur
handle being slut-shamed? I’m 29 and
in the process of establishing my own
company, and there’s a possibility of
some nude photos coming to light
(unfortunately, from several sources).
Ideally, the men will never post anything
at all. But I’m in tears writing this because
I’m afraid my poor choice of boyfriends
(complete and utter losers, I’m ashamed
to say) will destroy any ounce of
credibility I have before my business
even has a chance. How can I neutralise
this threat? Do I make a video like
Eminem’s MTV confessional and put my
insecurities out there first so the haters
know they have no power over me?- HAUNTED ENTREPRENEUR
Haunted, my honey bunch: Forget
Eminem. I love him, but we have better
examples to look to. With the greatest
respect, I mention adult-film star Stormy
Daniels, who handles slut-shamers as
brilliantly as Catherine the Great. The
woman who allegedly had an affair
with the president of the United States
has outsmarted her shamers with such
élan, she’s now America’s honorary
prom queen. You’re worried about
nude photos, Miss Haunted? Miss
Stormy (aka Stephanie Clifford) makes
her living taking her clothes off. Her
method of shutting down the lowlifes
who smear her is to discredit them. Her
Twitter replies are so hilarious and
disparaging, many of her foes just give
up and remove their tweets. So, the best
actions, should these photos see
daylight: (1) Publicly condemn the
privacy breach. (2) Discredit the
slut-shamer. (3) Work harder, and get
on with it. It’s good to be prepared,
Miss Haunted, but stop worrying about
what can go wrong with your new
company, and start getting fired up
about what can go right. Every minute
you worry about the assholes from your
past is a minute you could be building
your future.UGLY DUCKLING
I’m probably just shallow, but here
goes: my friend looks like a supermodel.
I struggle with my looks. I’m not a troll,
but because I’m comparing myself with
her, I feel like the ugliest person on the
planet. Wherever we go, everyone
stares at her, every guy is in love with
her, and I’m left standing there, feeling
invisible. She’s actually an amazing
person, but this friendship is ruining my
self-esteem. Will I ever be okay?- THE BAD FRIEND
Bad, my begonia:You didn’t ask me if
you should mention it to your friend, but
I predict that within three minutes of you
confessing your jealousy, you’ll be
listening in stunned amazement as she
flings her arms heavenward and hoots
joyful cries thatshe’sjealous of all sorts
of things about you.
ask
e jean
ADVICE
DESPERATE
(AND DATELESS)
What’s the best way to move past
rejection, whether it’s job rejection or
romantic rejection? The conventional
wisdom is to “try, try again”, but I’ve been
doing that with no luck. What should I do?- HUMAN REPELLENT
Human, my heliotrope: I know more
about rejection than any advice columnist.
I’ve jolly well been rejected about 95 per
cent of the time. Why so often? I sulked not
a second. Instead, I’d yodel hogwash like
“rejection makes me stronger”, totter out,
and try again. This is stupid. The key to
turning around a brush-off (professional or
amatory) is to work out how you made an
ass of yourself, then avoid doing the same
dumb things again. This is where the sulk
comes in. A sulk heightens negative
emotions. Negativity brings critical thinking.
Critical thinking improves results. Do it!
FEELING SEASICK
My boyfriend goes sailing every year. This
year, there were six people on board,
including him – three men and three
women. Two couples. Everyone knows
he’s dating me. One night, the single
woman asked if she could sleep with him.
He said no. How can another woman find it
okay to sleep with a man knowing he has a
girlfriend? What about the Woman Code?- CONFUSED
Confused, my kumquat:There are good
women. There are bad women. And there
are women who fall so short of the ideal
they will steal your man, even when you’ve
duct-taped him to your fridge. Butthere’s
no such thing as the Woman Code.E
Ask a question:tweet @ejeancarroll
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