70
INSTRUCTIONS
FOR
AFUNERAL
BY DAVID MEANS
If that lingering holiday feeling
has left you unable to tackle
a novel just yet, take solace in
this new anthology of short
stories by American writer and
Los Angeles TimesBook Prize
winner David Means. The titular
story is based around a man’s
wishes for his own memorial
service, (such as, “When
everyone’s seated, play ‘Like
a Rolling Stone.’”) with darkly
funny outcomes, including
instructions to tell friends
Don and Marie, “We attended
your dinner parties out of
compassion.” While not an easy
read (it takes on heavy themes
of fate, regret and addiction), it’s
thought-provoking and utterly
devourable all the same.
Instructions For A Funeral:
Storiesis out now
($35, Farrar, Straus & Giroux)BOOK OF THE MONTHTHERE’S A CERTAIN AWKWARD
“housekeeping” that must be attended to
after a break-up, from dog co-parenting
to divvying up the record collection, but
these chores can seem easy compared
to the modern dilemma of what to do with
your shared social media presence.
While for the dumped-at-
the-aisle there’s now
Deep Angel (deepangel.
media.mit.edu), which
will erase people (and,
possibly, the ring) entirely
from photos, those who
remain civil must navigate
— with tact — having
documented your time
together on the internet.
While you might not want to give future
Bumble matches the impression you’re
experimenting with an open relationship,
the decent thing to do is to leave theSO YOU’VE MADE THE
BREAK. YOU’RE NO
LONGER A COUPLE. WHAT
HAPPENS TO YOUR
DIGITALHISTORY?majority of posts up, especially if you’re
now trying to be friendly. (If Ariana
Grande can manage it, so can you.)
However, the golden rule is that the
remaining photos reflect your current,
platonic relationship – i.e. photos of the
two of you kissing, captioned “My love”,
can be deleted, but happy travel snaps
stay. If you still want them in your life, why
wouldn’t you want them on your feed? As
one ELLE staffer proposed: “Imagine if
Sonny and Cher’s hits had been wiped
from rotation when they broke up!?” That
person was likely
involved in some key life
moments, so archive
anything you’re unsure
about, and make
a rational decision once
you’re listening to less of
“Thank U, Next”.
That doesn’t go for
nudes – the consensus is
they should be erased
entirely. “When you were sent those
images, it was in the context of some sort
of relationship, so now the consent to
keep using this photo for viewing purposesRELATIONSHIP
STATUS:
SINGLE?
LIFE“Use the
digital
cleanse as an
opportunity to
also cleanse
lingering
feelings”expires,” explains Chantelle Otten,
a Melbourne-based psycho-sexologist.
“Use the digital cleanse as an opportunity
to also cleanse lingering feelings.”
When it comes to sending someone
your selfies, you can use an end-to-end
encrypted app with a self-timing delete
function, like Privates! or Signal. However
Euphemia Russell, pleasure educator
and founder of I Wish You Knew
(@sex.iwishyouknew), recommends
having a conversation too, even if it’s
awkward. “A casual, ‘Hey these photos
are for your eyes only, so delete after
you’ve seen them please,’ is a fair request.
As is asking the person to delete photos of
you at any point – break-up or not.”EWords: Elle McClure; Alexandra English. Photography: Stocksy; courtesy of Janet Laurence; Ben Quilty; Rushdi Anwar