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IT USED TO BE AN UNSPOKEN RULE
that you’d never discuss politics or
religion in polite company, but it’s now
impossible to avoid talk of Trump’s
tweets – or human rights breaches closer
to home – before the entrées have been
served. So how to navigate controversial
conversations and keep relationships
intact? We asked four women who are
well-versed in intelligent debate...MAKE IT
PERSONAL
“Most people talk about important issues
related to politics in a personal way
because our opinions are an extension of
ourselves. If someone has a first-hand
experience of the topic, their viewpoint
needs to be valued. Listen with an open
mind and heart – think about why
a person has the opinion they are
expressing and don’t be afraid to share
a story of how your own views have been
formed. Tell them you’ve appreciated the
chance to hear new perspectives. If
needed, a handy get-out-of-jail-free line is,
‘Shall we pick this up again after dinner?’”
Philippa Hall, NSW convenor of the
Women’s Electoral LobbyAVOID
GENERALISING
“Talk about issues and events, ideas and
approaches, not individuals or groups or
people. If you’re starting a sentence
about ‘group X’ or ‘place Y’ being
a particular way, stop and think about
how you’d feel about that being said
about you. Remember that the politicians
or leaders of countries or groups don’t
represent the way everyone in that
community feels or thinks.”
Councillor Jess Scully, City of SydneyBASE YOUR
DISCUSSION ON FACTS
“A great way to keep conversation
respectful and constructive is to ask, ‘Can
you explain to me why you think that?’ or,
‘Is there research on this I can look at?’
with a genuine desire to understand, rather
than dismiss and debunk.”
Sally Rugg, executive director of
campaign platform Change.orgDON’T ARGUE FOR
ARGUMENT’S SAKE
“Avoid topics that veer into hypothetical
or devil’s advocate-style debates about
people who are present at the table – for
example, bringing up adoption for same-
sex couples when you’re in the presence
of your gay cousin and Vaguely
Homophobic Aunt Helen. A major form of
self-care is knowing when butting heads
isn’t going to do anything but cause upset.
That, and a third helping of pavlova.”
Deirdre Fidge, writerKNOW WHEN
TO DROP IT
“You don’t want to ruin a dinner by
arguing with someone who’s never going
to entertain your views with any validity.
Say, ‘Let’s agree to disagree. I don’t want
debate to turn into argument.’ Going
around in circles is boring. Have
conviction, yes, stand your ground,
discuss issues with integrity – but don’t be
a total party pooper. No-one wants to
have to navigate a dog with a bone.”E
Pandora Sykes, journalist and co-host of
The High Low podcastWords by: Elle McClure. Photography: Michael LoskutovPOLITICS IS BACK ON
THE MENU AT THE
DINNER TABLE.
HERE ARE THE NEW
COMMANDMENTSPOLITICSTABLE
MANNERS
CULTURE