96 menshealth.com.au
I were the police, I’d probably lock me up. Or
worse still, take my licence away – either
for past crimes or for fear of what I might
do next.
In the real world, without a tonne of shiny
steel and glass around me, I’m not a violent
man. Indeed I shun physical confrontations
so assiduously you’d think I had a beautiful
face to look after. But on the road, I rage. And
I really wish I could stop.
You’ve probably felt it yourself – research
by the Monash University Accident Research
Centre found that 86 per cent of Australians
admit to being aggressive when driving: that
instantaneous, bile-rising, white-hot anger
thatseemstocomefromnowhere,like a lit
firecracker falling from the sky. Sometimes it
sets off a spray of abusive language so foul that
IfeeltrulyawfulwhenIcalmdown... and
remembermychildrenareintheback.
On good days, I’ll leave the window up
as I scream at the other motorist. But on the
baddaysI’vedonestupid,unforgivable and
criminal things, acts which truly seem to bear
norelationtothepersonI,myfamily or my
friendsthinkIam.
I have chased other motorists, cut them
off, brake-tested them, almost run someone
off the road. And I have leapt from my car at
the lights and spat threats and spleen through
the window of an older driver, who responded
bytauntingme.SoIsnatchedhiswallet off
the passenger seat.
What makes it even more unforgivable is
that I’ve been on the other end of road rage.Some years ago, an English friend and I were
chased through the streets of Barcelona by a
gang of hoodlums threatening to beat us into
something pulpy after I’d suggested, using
sign language, that the driver of their car was
someone fond of using a cocktail shaker with
great enthusiasm.
I thought it was a witty putdown for
cutting us off; he didn’t. We escaped only
by driving the wrong way up a freeway, an
experience we were lucky to survive.
Did I learn from this experience? Did I
resolve not to let my own anger boil over the
next time someone frustrated me on the road?
I did not. And do you know what the scary
thing about all this is? Those hoodlums and
I, we’re no different. We’re driven by the same
impulses. We respond to the same triggers.
Even scarier perhaps? In all likelihood, so
do you.Highway To Hell
I know plenty of other ragers, of course, and
somehow, with breathtaking hypocrisy, I’ve
always pitied them their lack of self-control.
The worst of all is a former colleague we’ll
call Alan, who’s pretty much a cauldron of
bubbling rage in or out of a car.
Not surprisingly, Alan, in his late 40s,
reckons he’s mellowing as he ages, but he
admits he had to move out of Sydney some
years ago, “because I just couldn’t put up
with all the incidents on the road, every day,
driving me mad.”BREATHE
Notonly will this
help short-circuit
an angry,
adrenaline-driven
response, the act
itself is calming.
Try taking five
long, deep
breaths. While
you’re breathing,
try to relax the
muscles in your
arms and face.DISASSOCIATE
Try not to take
things personally.
There’s a good
chance that what
you perceive as
a personal slight
is just an error
on the other
motorist’s behalf.
Give them the
benefit of
the doubt.TALK YOURSELF DOWN
While a volley of
expletives may be
on the tip of your
tongue, telling
yourself to calm
down can actually
help quell your
anger. Say, ‘I’m
not going to let
this get to me’
or ‘Stay calm’
while you breathe
slowly and deeply.Don’t Drive Yourself Mad
So, someone’s cut you off. Before you blow a gasket,
try these tips from Health Direct