AUGUST 2018GQ.COM.AU 95Andthereitis:anotherbastardhill,bathedinbeautiful,apathetic
sunshine,theraysasafluentastheoccupantsofthehousesthatlineit.
I’maching.I’mbreathless.Mylegsarelikeputty,mylungsareonireandI’mbarelyhalfwaythroughcrossingtheislandofJersey,thepeculiar
BritishrockoffthecoastofNormandy.It’sbeeneightkilometressince
IlastsawHenryCavill.ItwasalsoeightkilometresagothatIbeganto
believeIcouldconquerSuperman–onhishometurf,noless.Yes,I’m
jetlagged.Yes,I’mastonishinglyoutofshape.Yes,Cavilldoesthisrun,
theDurrellChallenge,everyyear,returningtohishomecountrytohelp
raisemoneyforananimalconservationcharity.But–but!–sinceIpassed
him,allevidenceofCavillquicklydisappeared.Notevenawhisper.
No ominous cape blowing a few lengths behind. Even better: there’s only
four kilometres to go.
YoudoalottotrytogettoknowHenryCavill.YoulytoHongKong.YoulyonwardtoLondon.(Youacquireanunmistakabletransitstench.)
Youchangeairportsatpeakhouronagodforsakenbuswhoseseatsare
stickywithbrokendreamsandholidayslosttotransit,whichcrawls
downabanked-uphighway–butnotbeforeitsdriverstopsforthemost
lackadaisicalfageversmoked.Youmissalight.Youbookanother,
exponentiallypricierone.(Youapologisetotheboss.)Then,24hours
after a 28-hour journey, you’re clunking up your umpteenth hill on
a13kmfunrunthatwhollyomittedthe‘fun’.
Itellyouthisbecauseit’simportantto understand the lengths onemustgotogettoknowHenryCavill.
Rightnow,it’sconfusing.There’sabsolutelynoreasonwhyCavillshouldn’tbedestroyingmeinthisrun.Butyoustarttothink,you
know?Hey, maybe I’m in better shape than I thought? Maybe he’s simply too
musculartocarryhisbodyatabriskpace?
When Cavill does reappear, it becomes obvious in the supreme why Ihadn’t seen him. There he is, surrounded by friends and siblings, chatting
andjoggingatthemostpleasantpace,and,wait...yes,literally
Instagrammingashegoes.(Hewilllatertellmethathewasn’t going at
anyparticularly hard pace but rather at a nicetalking pace).
By the time I cross the inish line – now behind Cavill – I’m well and
trulyintheredzone.
Had I run 40 seconds faster, I would have seen Cavill inish.Hewas
inthebronzedzone:crossingthelineinatrot,cheeredonbyfans,
eachofwhomclutchablackrectangleandframeSuperman’sgraceful
canter as it slows to a walk that’s wholly unburdened by cramps or
shitty conditioning.
Iwon’tseeCavillagaininJersey.Weweremeanttogettoknoweach
other;timingsdidn’tworkout.Butsomethinghasto–eventually.
There are approximately three stories in the world about Henry
Cavill, and they are as follows:I.RussellCroweonceshotailmatCavill’sprivateboarding
school.SchoolkidCavillgoesuptohim,sayshi,asksabout
acting,andRustyencourageshim.Littlewhileafterthat,a
carepackagefromRusty,repletewithVegemite,arrivesat
Cavill’splace.Yearslater,CroweiscastasCavill’sfatherin
ManofSteel.Thepaireventuallymaketheconnection,and
laugh. The care package is still there in Cavill’s bedroom,
perfectly preserved. Good yarn.II.Cavill was overweight while studying at said boarding
school.Gotbullied.Gotcalled‘FatCavill’–theleastcatchy,
least imaginative pejorative nickname, ever. Anyway,
FatCavillwentontobecomesuperhandsomeandwas cast
as Superman. Cute and endearing; a good yarn.III.Cavillmayormaynothavenarrowlymissedouton
a heap of career-making roles, including Bond, Superman
(beforehebecameSuperman),Lead VampireinTwil ight, and
other stuff. Another good yarn.Butthosestorieshavebeentold.Overandover.Andnotawholelot
else.OthershavetriedtogettoknowCavill,too.“IhavetosayIstill
don’t know the guy too well, and it’s kind of strange,” Stephen Dorff
said after working with him onImmortals,a2011fantasyilm.“Iusually
knowmoreaboutpeopleafterIworkwiththem.He’sveryquietandto
himself. He’s very nice, but I got to know everyone else,
but not him.”
Ourgoal,then,ourraison d’coming-here,istonotgetDorff’d.
Becausetherehastobemorethanthis. More to the man who plays
Superman. And of course, there is.•••ReadilyaccessibleoneitherofHenryCavill’siPhones–oneisfordrug
dealing,hejokes–isadocumentfullofwisdom.It’soneofthosedot-
pointed lists that gets reposted on Medium or Reddit or wherever, like,
once a year. It’s titled, ‘Advice from an 80-year-old man’.
His favourites, which he will read moments before we part ways, are:19.Be the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20.Loosen up; relax. Except for rare life-or-death matters,
nothingisasimportantasitirstseems.- Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
Hesayshetriestoreadthedocumentasoftenaspossible,anditshows.
Cavill nails rules 1 (‘Haveairmhandshake’)and 2 (‘Look people in
theeye’)asheshakesthehandofeverymemberoftheteam.Youmight
alsosaythisisanodtorule 41 ,‘Showrespectforeveryone who works
for a living, regardless of how trivial their job’.