MichaelStahl
THE CURIOUS ASCENT OF THE UP!And while normal, right-thinking people are
utterly immune to its attractions, I think I’m about
to join it myself.
I’m forever being asked what car a motoring
journalist drives. And they’re always expecting to
be told a Lamborghini, or a Moller Flying Car (I
really am thinking I should cancel my order), or
some similar thing that is to a journo’s wages, what
a superyacht is to a ferry driver’s.
But car journos don’t do it for the money; we do it
because it’s the best job in the world for car kooks.
And so, like other car people, we’ll often put the
ownership of a cool car ahead of other things. Like
children, or superannuation. I count myself in the
latter class, having bought my 1980s dream car six
years ago. I know at least five other journos with
various old Porsches.
But this new thing – it’s completely out of left
field. And though I’ve not driven one, and can’t
recall even sitting in one, it’s sucked me into its
strange forcefield. To the point where I’ve already
worked out the colour I’ll get, how I’ll lower it, and
the aftermarket wheels I want. But I know this
is really serious, because I’m willing to sell my
minibike to buy it.
You’d never guess, except there’s probably a photo
nearby that’s already given it away, but the car that’s
stealing journos’ hearts is the Volkswagen Up!
(That’s Volkswagen’s exclamation mark, not mine.
Although, if I were a younger man, I’d have added
three more and be tweeting this instead).
Currently there seems to be four or five
Up!wardly mobile motor-noters in Sydney alone.
Aside from the profession, they have little in
common, ranging from an endearingly nerdy
30-something, to a 40-ish father of two, to Mike
McCarthy, former decades-long servant of Wheels,
now well into his hundreds (I think).
MicMac, as astute a judge of cars as there ever
was, saw the light early and bought his from new
(the Up! launched here in September 2012). But
it’s used Up!s that are hitting the spot with
motoring writers.
One of the first converts, and probably the
Bhagwan of the movement, is journo Matt
Campbell. He recently bought a black, five-door
2013 model ... for $3000.
“This car was a game-changer when it was
launched,” Campbell gushes. “It brought AEB
to this segment. It turns, stops, handles
beautifully and rides like a cushion. And the
fuel consumption is ridiculous.”
Admittedly, Campbell’s $3K example was
out of rego and a bit gamey, but I’ve seen half
a dozen at or below $5K, and low-kay ones are
usually below $7K. And I’m the guy whose
current, cheap commuter hack is a 15-year-old
Ducati Monster. Bought for $8000.
For the sake of torturing the typography:
what’s up with the UP!? Well, trying to sell it inIF YOU’VE ALWAYS SUSPECTED THAT CAR PEOPLE ARE A BIT UNUSUAL, WITH
MOTORING WRITERS NEAR ONE EXTREME OF THAT SPECTRUM, I’M HERE TO
AGREE WITH YOU ABSOLUTELY. I HAVE RECENTLY GATHERED EVIDENCE OF A
PERVASIVE CULT THAT IS LURING IN MEMBERS OF MY PROFESSION.
I have recently gathered evidence of a pervasive
cult that is luring in members of my profession
Australia as a manual only, in a segment where
80 percent buy automatics, made it flop when
new; now it’s hurting even more, for the same
reason, on the used market.
So it looms into the view of someone who
has shallow pockets, who prefers a manual
transmission, who appreciates packaging and
engineering and World Car of the Year awards,
who’ll have a lash at DIY servicing – and who
needs a car to leave on the street while they’re
driving someone else’s Lamborghini.THE
ORPHAN
WHO
FOUND
LOVELittle wonder
Even after a decade or so of
dramatic downsizing, is there
still a stigma about really
small cars? I keep hearing
that SUV drivers, in particular,
go all Biff Tannen when they
see a small car up ahead,
especially on motorways. I’ve
somehow always escaped
the “big car for a big country”
mindset and, wife’s wagons
aside, a Subaru Sportswagon
(in the 1980s) was probably
the biggest car I’ve ever
owned, and the 911 the
most cylinders.40 whichcar.com.au/wheels