The Washington Post Magazine - USA (2022-05-08)

2 MAY8, 2022

Opening Lines

She was torn between building a future

and staying to care for her grandmother

BY TERRYN HALL

on her family’s farm in Mississippi, so it’s no

surprise that she has an emerald green thumb.

When I come to her house, I bring my dog,

Jodeci, who is effectively a great-grandchild because

I don’t have any of my own. I’m the family member

who gardens with her the most, and I appreciate the

time we get to spend in the sun trying to coax life

out of the ground. But when we have to leave the

lush enclosure of her yard and enter the outside

world to run errands, we fight about clothes.

“Your shirt is dirty! Go change,” I’ll admonish.

Granny retorts, “No, it’s not.” We have a back-and-

forth until one of us gives in. Some days I win, and

she’ll change. Some days she wins, and we just roll

with it. Making sure Granny is presentable in public

matters because it shows that she is cared for. To

me, that is the highest honor you can give your elder.

When I started helping my mom look after

Granny five years ago, it quickly became clear a lot

of work goes into running our little family. Though

she is highly independent for a woman in her ninth

decade living on her own, there are still many tasks

Granny needs assistance with. My mother and I take

turns preparing or buying her meals every day. We

schedule doctor visits, hair appointments and house

repairs. We keep scam callers at bay. During the

pandemic, I’ve developed a fierce protectiveness

over her, persuading her into a high-filtration mask.

This caregiving has taught me to be more patient

and present and developed my problem-solving

skills. It has been labor intensive, but it also tapped

into a deep well of maternal feeling inside of me,

The Roots of Her

Maternal Feeling

C

ome look at what I did,” my grandma

says with her hands on her hips. A silk

scarf swaddles her cotton white hair as

she sports a random T-shirt layered

with one of my late grandfather’s

button-up oxfords, loosely fitting khakis and mud-

caked Crocs. For this 91-year-old, this is the height

of her garden couture. She wants me to check out

the intricate mesh netting she’s using to keep the

voles and rabbits from destroying her tender spring

plants.

Granny is not a cookie-baking grandma. She is

sassy and shrewd with money, and an avid

gardener. If there is anything that she loves more

than her three children and three grandchildren, it

is her yard in the Richmond suburbs. She grew up

ILLUSTRATION: SIMONE MARTIN-NEWBERRY