G2 EZ EE THE WASHINGTON POST.SUNDAY, MAY 8 , 2022
Editor: Suzanne Goldenberg • Art Director: Cece Pascual • Photo Editor: Haley Hamblin • E-mail: [email protected] • Telephone: 202-334-9800 • Mail: The Washington Post, Sunday Business, 1301 K St. NW,
Washington, D.C. 20071 • Advertising: Noelle Wainwright, 202-334-7610, [email protected]BUSINESSDilbert Scott AdamsIt applies to workers without
children who are expected to
make work their sole priority —
or to accept less pay because
they have “only” themselves to
support. It’s for anyone who
suspects they’re being
underpaid for reasons having
nothing to do with performance.
Inequity is a blade that cuts in
all directions.
Pro tip: Give Mom a real
break: LinkedIn’s new “career
break” feature is helping
normalize and de-stigmatize
gaps in work history by allowing
job seekers space in their
profiles to note time off for
family, health issues, career
transitions and other life events
and pursuits.
[email protected]making. While your employer
might prefer that you not
discuss numbers with your
colleagues, federal law
generally protects your right to
do so.
Finally, Farrell recommends
speaking up on workplace
issues outside the workplace.
From local to national elections,
voters should make clear to
political candidates that
workplace fairness, and policies
to support and enforce it,
matters to them.
By now, you’ve probably
realized this advice isn’t limited
to moms at all. It applies to
income-earning dads who, in
exchange for being paid well,
are subtly discouraged from
participating fully in family life.the market” in terms of paid
leave, pay scales and flexibility.
Glassdoor can provide this
information, as can your own
network. Knowing how your
employer’s offerings stack up
against competitors’ is vital in
compensation discussions and
in helping you calculate
whether you’re getting what you
deserve, financially and
otherwise.
It’s also helpful to talk about
pay with colleagues. “This is
where a lot of pay
discrimination tends to be
discovered,” said Farrell. You
can start by sharing your pay
rate and asking if that sounds
in line with what others in
similar positions, with
equivalent experience, areemployers avoid setting
compensation based on earning
history, a practice outlawed in
an increasing number of states.
Instead of looking at what a
mother was making before she
took time off to raise a baby or
coach her kids through online
school, employers should look at
her skill set, the requirements of
the job, and the range of what
they are willing to pay for that
job.
Farrell also outlined ways
income-earning moms can add
their voices to the call for pay
equity.
In the United States now, it’s
a workers’ market, says Farrell:
“Even if you don’t want to leave
[your job], this is the time to
assess what’s happening withpandemic.
“If it [the pandemic] did not
prompt immediate change in
work and care infrastructures, it
has demonstrated in
devastating clarity what needs
to be done,” says Noreen Farrell,
executive director of Equal
Rights Advocates, an
organization dedicated to
achieving gender equity.
Unfortunately, despite
repeated legislative proposals to
strengthen child-care access,
paid leave and equal pay
protections at the federal level,
the political will to enact them
into law keeps falling short.
Policies like these need a
groundswell of support from
employers and employees to
boost them to the point where
making them the law of the land
becomes a no-brainer, the way
industry changes and labor
advocacy eventually led to the
40-hour workweek.
I asked Farrell what
employers and employees can
do now to help combat the pay
gap and aid job recovery for
income-earning moms.
Farrell says employers
should conduct rigorous and
regular analyses of pay scales to
get a sense of how wages in
their company are distributed
and to uncover patterns that
may indicate bias. “I have never
met an employer who believes
it is paying less based on race,
sex or other factors until they
look at their numbers,” Farrell
notes.
Farrell also recommends that
employers adopt a culture of
pay transparency, so workers
have the data they need to
negotiate. The states of
Washington and Colorado
require employers to post salary
scales in job listings, and a
similar law is being debated in
New York City.
Farrell also recommends thatAs I’ve said
before,
motherhood can
be emotionally
rewarding, but
financially and
professionally
punitive. Sticky
hugs, hand-
painted mugs and
crayon scrawls
are priceless, but
so are financial security and a
job where you’re treated with
respect.
Whether they take time off
from their careers or work
continuously while raising a
family, breadwinner moms often
face a documented
“motherhood penalty” of lower
lifetime earnings and fewer
opportunities, largely because of
bias and assumptions about
their capacity for and
dedication to their paid work.
And that’s not even mentioning
the well-documented imbalance
in the division of unpaid labor
at home, which, according to a
recent study by a British
researcher, is tilted more heavily
against moms who out-earn
their husbands.
The motherhood penalty
grew when the coronavirus
pandemic yanked away the few
means of support that allowed
income-earning moms to focus
on their work. Since 2020, men
have regained the employment
losses they suffered during the
pandemic, while women’s
recovery lags behind; 1 million
fewer women are in the
workforce now than in 2020, a
loss the National Women’s Law
Center attributes to caregiving
demands that have largely fallen
on women. Recovery has been
even harder for Black and
Latina women and women with
disabilities — some of the
groups most heavily represented
in industries hit hardest by the
To celebrate Mother’s Day, let’s d itch ‘motherhood penalty’ for working moms
Work
Advice
KARLA L.
MILLER
grandmother with four other
siblings, she claimed me as her
goddaughter.
Her adoption of me as one of
her own changed the trajectory of
my life — and my career.
Under Big Mama’s tutelage, you
settled for safety. I understand
why my grandmother was so
scared for me to try new things,
even leaving my hometown
Baltimore paper, the Evening Sun,
for The Washington Post.
To Big Mama, new could mean
failure.
Lois taught me how to live
without financial fear. She was a
Black entrepreneur who prospered
running her own physical therapy
practice in an industry that was
rife with discrimination. She
exposed me to a world wholly
different from the low-income
childhood I experienced.The first time I visited her
single-family home in a tony
upper-income neighborhood in
Baltimore, I was in awe. It wasn’t
just the house that impressed me
but the grace of Lois’s caregiving.
She always made me feel so
welcomed in her home. There
wasn’t a room in her house you
couldn’t go into, unlike homes
where the living room wasn’t to be
lived in but was a showplace with
furniture covered in plastic that
you’d still better not sit your butt
on. If I tagged along for a
shopping trip, I came home with
something, just like her kids.
The first time I went to a
restaurant was with Lois and her
family — her husband and three
children. I went with them on a
family trip to Disney World.
The way she cared for folks
inspired me to follow her lead.When my husband and I
purchased our first home, we
intentionally opted for more space
to accommodate family members
who might need a place to stay.
We’ve had several long-term
residents, throughout our
ownership of three homes.
I’ll admit, at times I thought
Lois was too generous, fearing it
would jeopardize her own
financial well-being. She gave
nonetheless without worry that
she wouldn’t have enough for
herself.
Lois believed that your wealth
isn’t just your own. You should live
to give, she preached — and she
lived by example.
Lois taught me that if you’ve
saved for it, you could spend
money for fun and not fret or feel
guilty. I still struggle with that, but
less so because of my godmother.It’s because of Lois that my
husband and I decided more than
20 years ago to take two-week
vacations, often bringing along
extended family members just as
she would do when she took trips.
The memories we’ve created
visiting places such as Aruba,
Hawaii, St. Thomas and, our
favorite summer jaunt, Hilton
Head, S.C., are priceless.
While on vacation, Michelle the
penny-pincher, who is concerned
about every dollar spent, puts
away her money worries and
relaxes poolside with a virgin piña
colada. Lois did that.
Big Mama looked at frequent
vacationing as a bit reckless,
fussing that such funds should be
kept in my savings account for
future emergencies. Lois viewed
spending on travel as an
investment in life experiences that
pays a different kind of dividend.
What I will remember most is
how Lois showed up for
everything — graduations, my
kids’ plays, certificate ceremonies,
music recitals, and when I would
do financial workshops at my
church.
She was there when I gave birth
to my first child. And she was
there for that child when she
almost lost her life at age 7. During
her more than two-month stay in
the hospital, my husband and I
took turns staying 24/7 with our
daughter Olivia, who was suffering
from a rare autoimmune disease.
Lois volunteered to sit with
Olivia for a shift so that my
husband and I could spend a
weekend together, giving us a
break from our hospital vigil.
As parents, we often think our
children need so many material
things. But Lois, whose love
language was giving, also
understood that being present
meets children’s needs in ways
that money can’t buy.
I’m a better mother because of
Lois. I enjoy the fruits of my labor
more because of Lois. This
Mother’s Day, I’ll weep without her
presence because it was exactly
that — her being present — that
helped me lead a more fulfilling,
less fearful life.Mother’s Day has
always been
difficult for me, but
this year it will be
brutal.
On April 22, I got
a call that felt like a
punch in the gut.
My beloved
godmother, Lois,
had died at 77.
My own mother
was challenged in so many ways,
and she abandoned me and my
four young siblings to the care of
my maternal grandmother, Big
Mama.
If you’re a regular reader, you
are most likely familiar with my
tales of Big Mama. Her financial
wisdom has been the basis of
much of my advice over the 25
years I’ve written the Color of
Money column.
Big Mama taught me how to live
below my means and to hate debt
like it was the devil himself. I’m a
super-saver because of my
grandmother.
Lois, or the Rev. Lois Bethea-
Thompson, passed on a different
financial legacy. Whereas my
grandmother was fearful of me
going to college, Lois encouraged
my pursuit of higher education.
She modeled generosity beyond
her nuclear family. She showed me
the power of showing up for not
just the big life events but for the
minor ones, too — and what that
can do to lift people’s confidence
and help them succeed.
So much financial advice
centers on how to save and invest,
but more needs to be said about
using your wealth to enrich the
lives of others — not just those in
your household or genetically
related to you. Lois epitomized
what it means to have a generosity
of spirit — that can be financial,
but it can also mean giving of
yourself.
Lois collected people, adding to
her life’s mission the care of
anyone who could benefit from
some extra mother love and
attention.
I met Lois when I was
hospitalized as a child with
juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. She
was the director of the physical
therapy department at Provident
Hospital in Baltimore. My legs
were so weak from the disease that
I needed daily physical therapy to
help regain my ability to walk.
When Lois heard that my mother
was in my life irregularly and that
I was being raised by myShe wasn’t my mother, but here’s what this mom taught me about money
Michelle
Singletary
THE COLOR
OF MONEYFAMILY PHOTO
Michelle Singletary at her 40th-birthday party with her godmother, the Rev. Lois Bethea-Thompson.If you have a personal finance question
for Michelle, please call 1-855-ASK-
POST (1-855-275-7678). Her award-
winning column The Color of Money is
syndicated by The Washington Post
News Service and Syndicate and carried
in dozens of newspapers.As parents, we often think our children need so many material things.But Lois, whose love language was giving, also understood that being presentmeets children’s needs in ways that money can’t buy.