Kwame Anthony Appiah teaches philosophy
at N.Y.U. His books include ‘‘Cosmopolitanism,’’
‘‘The Honor Code’’ and ‘‘The Lies That Bind:
Rethinking Identity.’’bound by the promise you made. When
she’s old enough to do the sleuthing, all
you can tell her is that you hope she’ll take
into account his wishes for privacy. But at
this point, it’s out of your hands. And were
she to learn who her father is, she would
discover other members of his family —
including people who might welcome a
connection to her even if he didn’t.
It isn’t much help, I know, to tell you
that you should have sorted out these
issues with your friend before proceed-
ing with the donation. In particular, you
should have at least tried to persuade him
that his identity could be disclosed after
his child reached a certain age. A child’s
potential interest in knowing her pater-
nity deserves very serious deference and
should have been given more weight ear-
lier in the process. But the agreement you
made with your friend means that you
accepted the obligation to withhold his
identity, and he’s the only person who
can free you from that obligation.
I am eligible to join a patriotic hereditary
organization that only admits males born to
male ancestors. I have some misgivings. If I
join, my ‘‘heir’’ would be my youngest of fi ve
grandchildren, the son of my son, passing
over my daughter’s three children and my
son’s daughter. Do I really want to explain
to my grandchildren that they are ineligible
for this ‘‘honor’’ because they are of the
wrong gender or were born to my daughter
instead of my son? is is an old, prestigious
organization, and it is unlikely to change
its charter in the face of modern sensibilities.
Joe, Alexandria, Va.
We’ve been talking about biological
ancestry, and these American lineage orga-
nizations — many founded amid an infl ux
of immigration in the late 19th century —
are great believers in bloodlines; groups
like the Daughters of the American Revo-
lution and the Sons of the American Revo-
lution don’t accept the adopted children of
members (unless the adoptees themselves
have the right biological pedigree). They
may view themselves as patriotic, and yet
that sort of bloodline preference is hard to
square with the ideals of the nation; what-
ever happened to e pluribus?
Nor do you suggest that your patriotic
men’s club is especially eff ective when
it comes to rendering service. Given
that you refer to the association as an
In reality,
clashes
regularly arise
between
different rights
and between
different
rights-holders.‘‘honor,’’ in scare quotes, you could ask
yourself why you want to join this parade
of patriarchs in the fi rst place. Does the
organization get up to a lot that’s genu-
inely worth honoring?I am a white American woman with
one set of Italian great-grandparents, and
so I am eligible for Italian citizenship.
I would like to take advantage of this,
particularly for the opportunity to live in
other E.U. countries. However, this
citizenship law is, I believe, a blatantly
racist eff ort to replenish Italy’s population,
which has long been falling because of
a low birthrate, without having to accept
Black and brown immigrants. Can I take
advantage of this opportunity, despite
it being racist and xenophobic by design?Alaina, San FranciscoItaly has had some version of citizenship
by descent for more than a century, duringperiods of liberal immigration policies and
restrictive ones alike. Although the descent
provision has odd gender asymmetries
that haven’t yet been resolved, I wonder
at your characterization of it as racist not
merely in eff ect but by design. Think of
the law that allows people whose Jewish
ancestors were expelled from Spain begin-
ning in the late 15th century to acquire
Spanish citizenship; it’s for a certain set
of people, but it isn’t racist, in my view,
because it isn’t aimed against any race.
Still, there’s a straightforward case
for socially conscious people like you to
accept rather than abjure the perquisites
of your pedigree: As citizens of Italy,
you’ll have more of a say when it comes
to pushing for a fairer overall approach
to immigration there.