THE APPRENTICE
Sarah Drane
[email protected]
The Apprentice:
Episode Three – Commis Chef
I was looking forward to
being a commis chef for this
Apprentice column. As a child
I remember being fascinated
by boozy Keith Floyd and as a
(kind of) grown up I am very
fond of shouty sweary angry
Gordon Ramsay and watching
nervous people turn scallops
into rubber on Masterchef.
I know my way around a
kitchen. I can cook meat
and two veg without setting
anything on fire, but the word
‘flair’ wouldn’t sit in the same
sentence as one of my dishes.
Maybe I could learn something
from Ca n’Eduardo.
Ca n’Eduardo is located
above La Lonja del Pescado
on Palma’s waterfront and
has been a fixture on the
Mallorca culinary scene for 70
years (70!). ‘La Lonja’ means
‘trading place’ so the staff
have just one flight of stairs to
negotiate before they’re faced
with fresh local parga, cap roig
and gallo de san pedro to put
directly onto Ca n’Eduardo’s
plates. I was prepared for
fishy things to be on commis
chef Drane’s task list – I
wasn’t wrong.As I walked into the kitchen
two things immediately
surprised me. One, the Head
Chef and Co-owner of this
fine Mallorquin establishment
was (wait for it) Irish. And
two, the man in question,
Johnny Moloney, had one arm
immobile and plastered up to
the elbow (skiing incident).
Basically the place was being
run by a one-armed Irishman.
How could this work?Firstly, Johnny has 15
years senior-level cheffing
experience on the Island,
nine of them at the Sheraton
Arabella Mallorca Golf Hotel
and six at Ca n’Eduardo, so
his Spanish is pretty native- albeit with an Irish lilt.
Secondly, Johnny has a slick
number two in the shape of
61-year-old Juan who has
been at Ca n’Eduardo for an
impressive 20 years. Nothing
gets by Juan. Add an up-to-
11-strong team in peak season
and Johnny could have both
arms out of action for a few
days and the place would be
far from falling apart – unless
of course I managed to make
some massive balls-ups.
Speaking of massive balls-
ups, once in my apron, hair
tied up and hands clean, myfirst duty was to find any
stray bones in a substantial
trayful of white fish. The
fish was destined for Ca
n’Eduardo’s famous croquetas
de pescado (prawns, mussels,
my white fish...) and I couldn’t
help thinking this was a
colossal responsibility for an
Apprentice. I was absolutely
terrified that I would let a
bone slip through the net
(hold up, we have our first
fishy pun) and Johnny would
be telephoning me later
fuming that a lunch guest
had been rushed to hospital
choking in the style of 82-year-
old Queen Elizabeth the
Queen Mother in 1982. But
worse was to come.Task number two was to
remove the head and guts
of small pescado frito (frying
fish). Now I don’t think I
am particularly squeamish (I
cover my eyes in ops on Holby
City, but I think most normal
people do) but I am rather
retchy. Hand-beheading fish
and pulling out bloody entrails
is something that makes me
retch. It took immense focusA Restaurant with a Viewnot to heave. Thankfully (true
story) I was distracted by a
pile of dozy lobsters to my
left who were giving me evils
as I mutilated their aquatic
mates. Johnny reassured
me that generally only the
spiny langostas would go for
a wander around the kitchen
and get a little testy – his
reassurance didn’t help
one iota.Fish decapitated, the final
task was to assist in the prep
of paella for staff lunch. Juan
was on hand to measure
out rice and fish stock and
make sure the dish was fit for
human consumption. I then
said my farewells and got out
of the kitchen before the lunch
rush and the heat that I would
inevitably not be able to take.While I thoroughly enjoyed
my experience, I have decided
that cheffing probably isn’t
for me. Unless someone
opens a gluten-free dairy-free
restaurant, I can’t do what
Gordon Ramsay lambasts his
protégés for – always taste the
food. Juan’s crema catalana
with lashings of nutmeg
looked divine, but dairy and I
don’t get on, I couldn’t even
taste the bone-free (I pray)
croquetas as I am a coeliac
and wheat flour binds them
together. It was frustrating.
I was also disappointed that
Johnny wasn’t remotely
shouty sweary or angry and I
didn’t use my ‘yes chef!’ I had
been rehearsing in the car. So,
next time I’m in Ca n’Eduardo
it will be as a paying guest - I
am looking forward to it.http://www.caneduardo.comBeheading Pescado Frito Ca n’Eduardo’s Fish Selection